Thursday, 12 January 2017

ethical porn

Do you watch porn on the internet?

No need to answer if you prefer not but I wanted to discuss an issue about BDSM porn. It is really an isue about how one can be sure of the level of consent when one watches BDSM video clips.

I have seen a couple of sites recently that are recommending ethical porn sites. There are a number of them so rather than me typing them here you could just Google "list of ethical porn sites". Interestingly several of them list Kink.com as an ethical site. It seems there are good reports from actors working for them and they have got a good reputation. This is very pleasing given that there is some quite strong stuff in there. A much older, and now quite notorious competitor, insex though closed down because of very negative reports from actors. There is a Hungarian site where there were even arrests I understand.

So if you do watch BDSM porn, please make sure you are watching performers who are acting and even enjoying their work rather than being abused.

Soon that will no longer be a problem for me as it is likely that such sites will all soon be banned in the UK. The Digital Economy Bill is likely to come into force soon.



12 comments:

Lea said...

I don't watch a lot of porn, but I peruse tumblr clips.

It is a great thing to have safeguards for our sex workers. It is definitely all about consent. I'm happy to see that Kink.com is listed as ethical.

Mala said...

I am strangely put off by BDSM porn... almost as much as I am turned off by vanilla sex IRL.

Pygar said...

Thank you Lea. Yes it is interesting - and pleasing - that Kink.com has been listed as ethical. I hope it truly is and continues to be.

P xx

Pygar said...

Thanks Mala. Is it strange that you are put off by BDSM porn? BDSM porn is a fantasy for some which I believe is very different from real life in many ways - and indeed can give the wrong idea to some who are new to the BDSM scene. Perhaps you recognise it as just not what you are into in the same way as you are turned off by vanilla sex?

I wonder why you find it strange?

P xx

Mala said...

I honestly do not know... I think perhaps because it seems so mechanical and staged... I don't like vanilla porn that smacks of that either.. but some vanilla porn looks "real" enough... I dunno... ?

Pygar said...

Yes Mala, I think a lot of pornography looks very staged - the vanilla porn as well. That may be ok for after all it is a fantasy. But many do prefer a more naturalistic style.

I suppose for me the worry is that fantasy BDSM porn can be taken by the inexperienced or by young people as "real" which may lead them to put unreasonable and unrealistic expectations on their subs.

Can you not get into the fantasy element though? Does it have to have a strong feeling of being "real" to attract you?

P xx

Wilma Rubble said...

I don't want porn but like Lea I do often look at tumblr. Like Mala I am put off by BDSM porn. Ironically I find it brutal, yet I experience some of the things in it. I suppose because there is no emotional connection between the people? Our activities have a purpose, and of course sexual gratification is one, but in all honesty it isn't the breaking down of the person but the walls that provides that. Maybe in porn I see it more as the physical gratification than the mental as that is difficult to show?

Pygar said...

Thanks Wilma. That is very interesting. Yes - I suppose that where it is the psychological and emotional aspects of BDSM that work for you then that is more difficult to portray in a video clip or a gif or photo on tumblr. It would take a feature film I guess - and for me Fifty Shades of Grey certainly didn't do it. Secretary might have got closer. I wonder if you have seen that? Perhaps it can also be done in an erotic novel?

P xx

Wilma Rubble said...

I did see The Secretary and I did not care for it at all! There was only one scene where I could relate to her. The scene where I 'felt' the D/s in the movie was the one when he told her to walk home, as she did, she pondered on the why ( I believe). I think maybe one of the reasons I didn't relate to the movie was the fact that she was portrayed as 'broken' in the traditional/main stream way. She was a 'cutter' and while I understand people in D/s, BDSM, Dd whatever, relationships come in all shapes and sizes,(and I mean no judgement) it seemed like they were making an 'excuse' for why she needed this. Or at the very least that one physical pain reduced the other. Also I didn't find his character, though I love James Spader ( I'm sure he is a bit freaky in RL..LOL) sane or levelheaded enough to be a Dom I would trust. LOL> ( more than you bargained for I'm sure).

Pygar said...

Thanks Wilma - no not "more than I bargained for" at all! Your comments are very interesting.

I did enjoy the film, however I share your reservations. There can be a stereotypical view of some subs as being damaged and helped by BDSM in some way. It may be that for some that is the case. However, I know there are many more who understandably resent such implications. Also the Dom clearly had his own problems too - so a BDSM relationship is presented as a relationship between two dysfunctional adults. I am sure none of us wish to be portrayed in such a way. However, given that I thought it was well acted and put together and did enjoy a lot of it. Though my favourite was probably the opening scene where she was doing office work while wearing those restrictive cuffs attached to a bar and her neck!

I also attended a group showing with some fetishists in Shanghai at someone's apartment. There was a lively discussion afterwards about its merits and otherwise.

Thanks again.

P xx

SwitchingFun said...

Hah. Confession time.. ;-)

It's an interesting topic Pygar. Thank you. I'll suggest to senior members of my group to give reference for ethical porn sites in Real vs Fantasy in Porn session - we have it regularly - where any member can suggest video or photo(s) related to BDSM for open discussion plus short training/guidance from the seniors.

xoxo - SF

Pygar said...

Thanks SwitchingFun. That sounds fascinating. If you do discuss it in your group I would be very interested in how the discussion develops and what comes from it.

P xx