tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post8386095201461153155..comments2023-11-05T09:53:20.998+00:00Comments on A Kind Dom: domination, pain and sadismPygarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-46924391593130069472011-04-08T02:53:06.261+01:002011-04-08T02:53:06.261+01:00Yes, it sounds like you are a sadist. There is no...Yes, it sounds like you are a sadist. There is nothing wrong with that, in and of itself. It is always how we express who we are/what we are that counts. <br /><br /> Knowledge is power...the more you truly know yourself the more power you have. After all unchecked sadistic tendency's are often turned inward.<br /><br />I feel the first and foremost reason to strike someone is simple...defense. This rings true on all levels. That is one of the foremost things my sub receives from me...protection. So help the person that would try to do her harm. In that she takes great pleasure and reassurance.<br /><br />Would I enjoy hurting such an offender? Yes, and that might very well save their life or at very least limb. <br /><br />My sub is my possession but also my queen. Pain is sometimes needed on her part. There are a multitude of reasons. It would be wrong of me not to get gratification out of administering punishment. It is the worship of the queen that sets the limitation. Bend but never break.<br /><br />But there are different levels of punishment. And pain is the most superficial of all. The gateway drug. On the other end is the worst punishment.....Getting "kicked out of the bubble" is true punishment. And one any good sub will go to great lengths to avoid.<br /><br />One of the most beautiful and rewarding aspects of a D/s relationship is the symbiosis. The GIVE and the take. The yin and the yang.Alphahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08953246346068338893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-91326493667896367492011-04-05T00:27:11.099+01:002011-04-05T00:27:11.099+01:00I'm going to have to emphatically agree with J...I'm going to have to emphatically agree with JZ on this one. However, if I am going to take pain (or humiliation) for the sole pleasure of Chess and also get pleasure from simply knowing that he is getting pleasure from it, then I REALLY need to know that he's enjoying it. But if I do know that then I can handle alot more, and my heart swells with happiness knowing that he's really enjoying himself and I am participating in that.Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02108863768139755111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-48663467848660630042011-03-12T17:04:17.968+00:002011-03-12T17:04:17.968+00:00Yes Velvet the sensuality of pleasure/pain can be ...Yes Velvet the sensuality of pleasure/pain can be so very erotic. You describe your relationship very beautifully. Thank you for your contribution.<br /><br />P xxPygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-47791711153703782302011-03-12T00:44:24.533+00:002011-03-12T00:44:24.533+00:00The last words in your post are what appeal to me ...The last words in your post are what appeal to me the most... 'the sensuality of the connection of pleasure and pain'. For me that hits the nail on the head. I think that 'sensual' is the word that M uses most often to describe me...discounting less savoury terms that I will not type here ;-)...<br />The whole pleasure/ pain thing is just so incredibly erotic. In our relationship there is no violence. There is control, unconditional submission, deep trust and an incredible connection.<br />Velvet <3Velvethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05067131519830785478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-32696850346506638082011-03-11T17:41:33.230+00:002011-03-11T17:41:33.230+00:00Thank you Jz and NewToThisLife07 for your really i...Thank you Jz and NewToThisLife07 for your really interesting and thoughtful responses. They have got me thinking hard also.<br /><br />What I hadn't really got my head round was that as Jz write - whether the pleasure is from masochism or from pleasing her partner - it is still <i>pleasure</i>. Part of me felt that if the pleasure was just in pleasing her Dom then it didn't count in the same way. That it wasn't as pleasing I suppose!<br /><br />So I'm going to have to work at this - to stop feeling guilty that it is somehow not "real" pleasure.<br /><br />Thank you Jz - very much.<br /><br />Thank you too NewToThisLife07 for emphasising the same (so it must be true!) but also describing your journey in how it turned into masochistic pleasure. I appreciate all your words.<br /><br />P xxxxPygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-87234005099554385572011-03-11T09:23:50.075+00:002011-03-11T09:23:50.075+00:00hmmmm....since i am a masochist I think I'm ...hmmmm....since i <b> am </b> a masochist I think I'm in a bit of a win-win situation, well now i am -in the beginning not so much. When Master and i first met I had no clue that i was a masochist, painslut even, and i took the pain -because <i> He </i> asked it of me. In the beginning i found no real pleasure in it apart from being proud that i could endure it for Him. Yes, <b> endure </b> -because that is really how it was. I managed the pain, not at all really liking it. But I kept pushing the boundaries (because i'm stubborn like a mule!)and today i crave it, i love it. So i'm glad i did it. Now i find enjoyment out of knowing that it satisfies and pleases Him and i also get the physical enjoyment out of it for myself. So for me a win-win :D<br />And yes, I think you are a sadist if you enjoy the administering of pain for both of your's pleasure, in a way that is more than the reaffirmation of your respective roles. Is that bad? Certainly not. Not as long as the sub gets enjoyment out of it too. And as Jz says; does it really matter <i> why </i> she enjoys it? As long as she does, I don't see it as a problem. Although personally i don't think you can take the pain to the same level as you can with a masochist/pain slut.<br />Key word being <b> enjoyment </b>. Nothing that is good and enjoyable for both parties, for whatever reason they enjoy it, can in my eyes be wrong or bad.<br />Go find your masochist! ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962358426978378748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-40817235023914817982011-03-11T09:18:26.400+00:002011-03-11T09:18:26.400+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962358426978378748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1794291026218471965.post-77460035866482350832011-03-11T02:53:07.817+00:002011-03-11T02:53:07.817+00:00I can understand and appreciate your dilemma but t...I can understand and appreciate your dilemma but there was one thing that did strike me ...<br /><br />If your criteria is that "on some level [your] sub partner is getting as much from it as [you]", then maybe you don't need to worry exactly which part it is that is directly causing her enjoyment? <br />It seems to me that if she's willingly whimpering for you, knowing it gives you pleasure, then it's entirely possible that IS her pleasure. A very real, intense pleasure.<br /><br />It's fair to want her enjoyment -- I'm not sure it's quite so fair to want to insist on evaluating her enjoyment according to your standards. <br />It's entirely possible that she could be out there, flying higher than she's ever been before. Are you going to say, "This doesn't count as enjoyment, because you arrived at this cloud via a hang glider, rather than a plane"?<br /><br />She doesn't care. <br />I'm not sure you need to, either, as long as you see she's flying.<br /><br />(Just one woman's opinion...)Jzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00301793291285112859noreply@blogger.com