There are a number of subs who I have got to know very well who suffer at times from severe depression. There are other subs I know who also suffer from depression.
I hasten to add that they all suffered from depression even before they got to know me!
I know that this is a very small sample and that a high percentage of the population experience mental distress at some time in their lives.
However I just wondered if there was a real connection here. I also wondered if it might be associated with low self-esteem.
If so are there ethical issues for Doms who could be taking advantage of women in a vulnerable mental state?
"But why?"
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Recently a couple of very long comments were posted by Anonymous to A Kind
Dom in response to the post punishment and domestic discipline. The
questions sh...
6 years ago
10 comments:
I suffer from being bipolar and I know it's hard for my Daddy to know what to do with/for/to me during an episode. I think that any man that would "take advantage" of a sub because of the mental state she's in is only a player and not really a Dom at all. I've heard it said before that some women who have been abused in their pasts enter in to this kind of relationship to subconsciencously continue reliving the trauma and abuse. Maybe some are, maybe to others it's like a kind of therapy or maybe it's all nothing more than a coincidence. I don't know if there is a connection to all of it or not but it is interesting to think about.
Rose
Thank you Rose. The abuse issue is related perhaps and is something I intend to write about soon. But for whatever reason I think there are women who struggle at times with their mental state who find aspects of D/s supportive to them - aspects of control in particular.
A caring Dom should always take account of the current mental state of his sub. When you are having an episode your Dom will need to understand you very well to know what will help you and what may make your symptoms worse. Do you find that submission - just to his domination or within a scene - can help you when you are having an episode?
Thank you again for your comments Rose.
xPx
Daddy and I have been together for 12 years so by now he can read me like a book. During a bipolar episode I become aggressive, hostile and submission goes out the window. He's found the best way to handle it is to basically leave me alone. He's there for me, he's not really ignoring me, but he's found that if he trys to push me back into being submissive that it only escalates an already volatile situation. I really hate being bipolar and knowing that even with medication an episode is going to happen sometimes. When it passes and I'm me again, I need to feel his control over me (usually through a scene) because everything feels wrong, I feel lost and need to be found. I hope this made sense and answered your question.
Rose
Yes. Thank you Rose.
It is good that you have someone who loves you and understands you so well to help you cope with these distressing episodes.
xPx
I have suffered badly from clinical depression. I sorted out the underlying stuff years ago, but still find that any major life crisis can get me down to that place of self hatred and warped logic. I accept it's something I have to struggle with when things get tough. I know myself pretty well now though, and get help when I feel myself sinking.
There's a lot of mental illness in my wider family, so I assume it's part of my genetic make-up. However, if I didn't experience such lows, I doubt I would have the highs. I feel it's all part of my intensity.
The trick is to keep breathing!
Thank you Tp
Keep breathing. Just keep breathing.
It is good to be positive about the highs and the intensity of your situation.
Keep breathing ...
xPx
Another possible disturbance could be Attention Deficit Disorder, since the "subspace" resembles a lot the state where an add person can dive into. It is a challenge to differ ADD from Depression and many times they are found beside one another, but ADD can also be taken as Depression, since a state of energy scarcity is linked with ADD.
Sari S.
Thank you for your insight Sari S.
I am particularly interested in your mention of "subspace" which is something else I hope to discuss in the future but hadn't thought about it in that way.
xPx
A few comments to make, if that's allowed (I know these posts are old, but I've only just found my way here :) )
First to pinkroses; I am bipolar too. I think it's great that your Daddy knows you so well :) It is needed when one fluctuates, especially if it can be rapid. My Master is also very good at this, although we have only known eachother for 2 months, he seems to know just what to do. I keep a blog where I write just about everything tha goes through my mind over the course of the day. It's not always fun to read, I suspect, but it is a good tool for Him to be able to "keep tabs" on me.
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I would call him a Gentle Dom too Pygar :)
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OK, got a bit OT I guess. So back on track: For me this lifestyle is very new, I found myself in it literally just about a week or two before I found Master. But I quickly come to realize just how much it helps me -which for me is an added bonus, I don't think the cause. It can help ground me when I'm running high, as well as help pick me up when I'm going low.
I have also had a tendency to mild self-harm before -it has only happened once since I started TTWD. So for me I guess it has a connection, just as You say Pygar; the control aspect. I have no control, no real boundaries, and having someone putting them in place with my best interest at heart is both comforting and extremely helpful.
I can't see the connection Sari S do though. I happen to have ADHD too, (Yes, I know, bring out the A-Z right? LOL)and I cannot see the resemblance to sub-space at all. OK, now I haven't reached sub-space myself, but I am very aware of what it is, but I do not see the resemblance. But maybe that is just my goldfish brain overlooking things (it tends to) ;)
OK, this became quite long -for that my apologies.
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