I received this comment from an anonymous Dom recently to my earlier post about "training and conditioning". I am posting it here as I think it deserves a wider audience.
I just found your blog, it is very intresting and well writen, I will spend more time here in the future!
I would like to throw in my 2 cents, I am a Dom in a relationship with a long time sub.
I used to have two subs, and I learned a valuable lesson with regards to "educating" (as I prefure that word) When you take power away from a sub completely it doe snothing but make the relationship boring and predictable, when you train a sub to only take pleasure on command or with you alone you strip them of something that makes them exciting, especailly if your relationship involves other people, why would I want to watch my sub take no pleasure at all with another person, what type of power would I get from that, not healthy power.. that's for sure.
I used to treat subs as "objects" etc, and found that failed. Not only did it fail for my sub in her confidence and charisma, it failed for me becuase she failed to be charismatic and became an automation. She has since left and is now happy and I am happy for that.
It helped me learn that lesson, my second sub who stayed with me, I still require her to bow in submission to me and state a daily mantra that stats she is an object in the mantra, BUT, I make sure to never treat her as such, I see it as a "symbolic" submission of her own self to my power with out actually mentally doing it, as I treat her as a person who serves me, not an object that I use as a tool.
Education of my subs for me involves having her self dress as I like, have her hair as i like, etc, things that do not permently alter her for life (A sub may choose to take on my mark as a tattoo upon her but that is somthing that must be earned so it is not taken lightly)
The only sexual education I enforce on my subs is I train them to orgasm as quickly as possible until they become cluster orgasms, as I greatly enjoy watching them almost pass out from immense pleasure. I train them riguriously to orgasm as quickly as possible as many times as possible, but I have never had a complain about that particular training 8*laughs*
As always being Dom or sub is an evolution, I have come along way, and I enjoy reading other sub's opinions to further my evolution, as the sub is the one giving me the honour of service, it is my job to deserve that honour.
Sticking point - Mary emailed me again recently. Things seem to be going very well for her but she has a problem. I'll let her explain: I have a question that you and perha...
1 week ago