Friday, 23 June 2017

coming out

Are you out to friends and relatives about your BDSM relationship? Few are I think. Despite the new popularity of BDSM themed novels and films the BDSM scene is seen as rather strange and scary to many in society. Indeed many will find it distasteful and immoral. Issues of feminism, human rights and abuse can soon come to the fore.

So we tend to keep it quiet in the main other than with friends in the scene.

Lea wrote a little while ago on her blog about coming out to a friend who she thought would understand. Someone she hoped she could talk to freely and honestly about this important part of her life and relationship with the person she was closest to. Sadly that friend was unhappy about it. She saw it as something unhealthy, to be cured. You can read Lea's blog post here. One of her commenters had a similar experience which destroyed a friendship.

Inès and I once came out to a younger, broad minded friend. She too though could not understand it and misunderstood the nature of out activity even though she knew us well. Fortunately it has not affected our friendship.

I wonder if others have had similarly negative responses - or do you just keep it quiet just in case?


Saturday, 17 June 2017

nude

A comedy film came on TV last night just as I was going to bed. It was quite amusing and I found myself watching it all the way through. It was about three couple entering a competition for the most novel wedding. One couple wanted a naturist wedding and spent most of their time in the film completely and explicitly nude though there was no eroticism or sex in the film.

Afterwards I googled the film to find out some more about it and discovered the actors playing the naturist couple had been shocked at quite how explicit the nudity was when shown. They were unhappy about having shown their bodies so totally. Was this some kind of shame in their bodies? Lack of confidence? Or just that they felt they had been misled and exploited?

How do you feel about your body? Are you happy to display it naked? Do you even get off on it?

Inès delights in being nude in public. She does it as her job as an artist's life model. She enjoys exhibitionism. We had hoped to go to a recent event where all the men were in suits and all the women naked but were unable to attend. Though even at that I understand some women kept certain items of lingerie on. We plan to go to a local fetish event soon with Inès naked and me fully dressed.

I have worked with her once as a life model and there were artists there who I know. I felt completely at ease with it.

For some it is a delight rather than a fear. It can be completely asexual in certain circumstances but in others have a strong erotic charge.

Have you been naked in public? Did you get off on it? Would it be a challenge for you? Dare you... ?

Do tell...

Friday, 9 June 2017

"un art de vivre"?

I came across this comment on Twitter today,

"BDSM… Un art de vivre, pas un hobby."

Roughly translated - "BDSM... A lifestyle not a hobby."

Is MonsieurF right? Must BDSM be a lifestyle rather than a hobby or can it be either or even something in-between?