guilt

A correspondent mentioned a couple of times in an email to me recently that neither she nor her Domme felt any guilt in what they do. Nor should they. While some of what they do many might find extreme they play safely to ensure no harm is caused. It is consensual with care and trust.

So I wonder why guilt was mentioned at all.

Is because we cannot get away from how we believe others might perceive our activities?

bonkers or caring support?

I've just written on Uncle Agony about a recent email. It was a fascinating description of the after care being given by a Mistress to her sub after the break up of their relationship. This was because of the belief that a submissive would need additional support to survive - over and above that needed in the break up of a vanilla relationship.

You can read all about it here.

Do pop over and tell me what you think. I had not heard anything like that before and would love to know the views of others.

My Valentine

I wrote one word -

Mine!

She wrote one word -

yours!

Happy Valentine's Day.

Limits

On an earlier post "new to all this" there was a comment from Kitty who wrote:

... I'm a little late to this post as I am new to your blog, but I can very much relate to this post. As a new sub, I struggle a lot with knowing what my true limits are and when to use my safeword. One side of me thinks, this is not just for him, but for both of us. And, like a previous poster said, if its not fun, it should stop. Another side of me thinks, if I only do things that are fun for me where is the submission in that? If I dont push my limits, how do I grow? Its a delicate balance, I believe. Sir has been amazing in helping me find it.

I am sure I have written about limits before but I was intrigued by the way Kitty presents the dilema. On the one hand,

One side of me thinks, this is not just for him, but for both of us. And, like a previous poster said, if its not fun, it should stop.

But then again ...

Another side of me thinks, if I only do things that are fun for me where is the submission in that? If I dont push my limits, how do I grow? 

Is it, as Kitty says, a delicate balance - or do you come down strongly on one side or the other?