... then what do you do?
Depends on the depth of need to a certain extent I suppose. Need a shirt ironing? No. Obviously I am talking about those needs that seem part of who you actually are as an individual. Those needs can change over time. Being able to continue to met the needs of those one loves and to have them met can become more and more problematic over a long timescale.
I have been married for a long time. Only last year I finally left. I suppose my needs had not been met for a long time. However there are other factors that keep one together. Where a couple have children they will often - and I believe quite rightly - put them first. Often an individual will put the happiness of their partner before their own needs and continue whilst unhappy and unfulfilled themselves.
There is no right answer and many struggle with this problem for years. I know it has happened to many who I have made contact with over the years in relation to D/s. They have discovered a growing and irresistible need inside themselves to submit and to have their partner control and dominate them. Yet their partner is unable to fulfil this role. What do they do? Well in my experience they have all found different ways to try to find their own happiness and fulfilment and to explore their budding desires and new found needs.
One who has found herself in this position and who is struggling with this dilemma has written to Uncle Agony. You will find her email here. Do read it - and if you have thoughts of your own about the best way forward please write a comment there. You may have found yourself in exactly that position. How did you resolve it? Or are you still struggling yourself?
The power of writing to Uncle Agony ... - I recently solved a problem without even replying! Well, to be fair the writer solved the problem all on her own. It was the writing itself that had the ef...
4 weeks ago