fantasy and reality

(Sorry, I had this post ready to go up last week but some family health issues took over. Better late than never  I hope ...)

There has recently been a considerable amount of reporting about an adult actress who on Twitter accused her porn star boyfriend of raping her. If you missed it there is an article here.

There is an interesting discussion following from it by Aurora Snow here. Aurora was herself an adult actress. In the article she discusses how diffficult it is for some male performers to turn off work mode when it comes to real relationships. She writes,

"Lines between porn work and home life can become blurry, especially when you’re dating a fellow performer. I know. What’s approved of and/or normalized at work isn’t necessarily OK to do at home, too—a fact I’ve had to remind former boyfriends of far too many times. It’s part of the reason I stopped dating fellow performers altogether. What I convincingly “enjoyed” for work is not what I wanted at home.

I wonder how many men have difficulty in distinguishing between fantasy and reality when it comes to relationships and sexual activity. To what extent might the same problems that the male actors are having be replicated in those who watch violent porn or bdsm movies. What looks sexy and exciting on screen could well have a very different outcome if attempted to act out in real life. Is this particularly an issue for young men who may have more online experience than in real life?

Do any readers have experience of this? I don't mean in an acting context (though actors are welcome to join in!) but where inappropriate fantasy is attempted to be played out with problematic results.