avoiding abuse when new to BDSM

I seem to have been discussing potential abuse within BDSM a lot recently so it was interesting to receive an email recently from someone describing herself as a "New Sub" which raised that issue in the email header. She and her partner are both new to the world of BDSM and are in a new relationship. That clearly brings about lots of very understandable fears.

You can read what she has to say on Uncle Agony here.

There are always difficulties in a new relationship. New BDSM relationships are no exception to that. However where both are new to BDSM as well then there is possibly potential for further difficulties and, as Blackpurse said in her header, "abuse".

Do readers have any constructive advice they can give her? If so do visit Uncle Agony and comment there. Thanks.