the view of a sub friend

Recently I met a sub friend for the first time. We had known each other for a long time via email but had not yet met.

She is an experienced sub and has engaged in activities that some could regard as quite extreme. She is a strong willed, intelligent, professional woman. I respect her professionally and personally. We met just for lunch so no ~A~ I didn't "have her" as you so delicately put it! (The minds of some subs!!!!)

It as lovely to meet - to put a face to all the thoughts we had exchanged, to get a feel for the real personality rather than that projected by the written word. The demeanour, the tone of voice ...

We talked openly and honestly about so many things - most unconnected to bdsm or D/s.

However we did talk a little of D/s.

I was interested when she talked negatively and disparagingly of Doms who felt it inappropriate to show their emotions - as if this was somehow a weakness that conflicted with their "Dom" image. (Is this inability to show emotion not actually itself a sign of weakness?) She was also critical of Doms who had no interest in the pleasure of their sub - ones who said the sub should gain all her satisfaction from knowing that her Dom was gaining pleasure. She was clearly very unimpressed by such Doms and found this unacceptable even in a play setting.

I was struck by how much this coincided with my own views about the need for openness, honesty and mutual respect and care.