Friday, 13 June 2008

Sadism or Selfishness?

A very good sub friend of mine has been using a contact site in the hope of finding a loving partner who can meet her submissive needs.

She has talked to me of a number of men on there who she got to know. At different times several of them started Domming her online. They seemed special. They seemed to want to commit to her. She threw herself in enthusiastically each time. Each of the relationships grew quite intense.

But when it came to the crunch they were all players. None really wanted to commit to her and were happy to drop her - but then to pop up out of nowhere when they got bored again. The emotional toll on her was just so destructive.

Were these "Doms" into emotional sadism or were they merely selfish with no thought or care for the hurt and harm they were causing?

The last one has left her feeling cold rather than angry. She has decided that is it. She cannot do that any more.

They have lost a beautiful, submissive and sensual woman. She could have given each of them so much. It is their loss not hers.


Tristan's pet said...

Selfishness I reckon, and a dollop of immaturity. Sadly so common....

Pygar said...

Immaturity too? Yes you may be right pet. Several were younger than her and I am sure did not have her life experience.

Though perhaps the older one was the most immature.

The fact that it is so common is very sad. Thanks for commenting pet.


Anonymous said...

I found a lot of people online have the mentality that since it is online and not real life that there is no reason to think about the person on the other end. They can't grasp the concept that they are talking to someone real and view this as a sort of game. They take what they want from it without care to the others emotions or the impact they'll leave behind. It's easy to get caught up in something and then in the end dismiss it as *fantasy* so there is no responsibility.

I think it's a combination of selfishness and immaturity, maybe the lack of social conscience. It could be possible with some there is a fear of having to commit long term or actually having to perform for real?

It makes me wonder how they treat people in real life and how they can live with themselves acting in such a manner. I hope she doesn't see their actions as a reflection on herself.


Pygar said...

Thank you emdie. I think you have summed it up with a great deal of clarity and insight.

There is that danger that we are not seen as real people at the other end of an online exchange. However I know myself what strong and real emotions can be stirred by online relationships.


Anonymous said...

I know them as well and the devastation they can cause at times too.