Monday, 6 July 2009

schoolgirl role play

I wrote a post last week entitled "age play". It was pointed out, correctly I think, that what I was discussing was not really age play. I think this may not be either but is perhaps related to it.

There are many - not necessarily of the BDSM community - who enjoy schoolgirl role-play. Escort friends have told me it is a popular request from clients. Many men seem to find the schoolgirl look - or the thought of spanking a "naughty schoolgirl" erotic. I have read discussions of this on escort message board sites. Punters and escorts seem to be at pains to insist that it is nothing to do with fantasies about having sex with or spanking real schoolgirls.

But ...

... it is something I am still very uncomfortable about.

Part of the reason is that in a previous area of my professional work I had to attend case conferences occasionally to discuss and decide action in relation to suspected cases of child abuse. Yes I know that in D/s role play and other fantasy role play it is not abuse or anything related to it ... but the connection is in my mind so I cannot use it as an erotic fantasy. It is the opposite - a real turn-off for me.

Maybe I am just missing something.

14 comments:

mouse said...

Sir,

I don't know everyone is different. I don't like the whole school girl thing either. So, I don't think you're missing anything. I think everyone brings their whole life to the table when it comes to topics like this.

Omega's mouse

Gillette said...

Not really on topic, but this came up for me when I read this:

One escort I read about talked about how one elderly admitted pedophile hired her to dress up, act and talk like a little kid.

He hired her because he finally admitted to himself that his abuse was tremendously destructive to the kids he abused. He payed for their therapy and now hired this woman instead of doing more harm.

This is a very touchy subject. I think, however, that this person was very creative. From what I understand, it's very difficult for a pedophile to "get rid" of their inclinations. I'm happy he found a way to no longer abuse kids.

Could it be that play would do that for others?

cutesypah said...

I've never understood the role playing concept, in private, with the exception of a rape scene. In public, it was fun to pretend that I didn't know my then-husband, and have him try to pick me up in a bar. But, age play has ALWAYS made me uncomfortable.

However, like you, I work with so many abused women and girls. Since I've taken on that line of work, age play is simply intolerable for me. It literally turns my stomach.

But, as I've said before, that's the beauty of BDSM, D/s, DD, and TIH - it's made to fit for each couple. So, to each his/her own. If it turns someone on, then they should go for it.

I just know that it's not my cup of tea, and I won't have it in my bedroom. Thank goodness Daddy agrees!!

hugs,
cutesypah

Pygar said...

Thank you mouse, Gillette and Cutesypah for your own take on this.

I was particularly interested in Gillette's story of what she had been told by an escort. In public escorts are very wary of admitting such things. Me recollection of when schoolgirl role play was discussed on the message boards there was usually a complete denial that it was anything at all to do with paedophilia. On the contrary escorts and clients would claim it was just a bit of fun and perhaps thinking back to school days and a sixth form friend. (Typically 17-18 year olds.)

I wonder if other escorts have ever had the same experience as your friend - or felt uncomfortable about clients who requested such a scenario.

mouse and cutesypah are not happy with it. I wonder if there are any sub readers who do enjoy this kid of fantasy play?

xPx

Orlando C. said...

Hello, Pygar. I'm not sure that schoolgirl (or schoolboy?) role play does have that much to do with pedophila. It seems to me that the appeal, like fantasies about prisons, or pirates, etc., has to do with a setting where people are being coerced and sexualized.

And, as I understand it, the typical schoolgirl roleplay is "bizarre" insofar as it has little to do with contemporary schools. Rather, it is about a stereotypical image of English boarding schools, or maybe Catholic schools, with uniforms and corporal punishment and strict rules.

All of which makes it hard for me to think that a fantasy like this is "about" pedophilia. Why don't we see role-plays of contemporary school settings, with guidance counselors and metal detectors and no uniforms, where the naughty schoolgirls aren't caned, but they risk being kicked off the swim team? Certainly sexual abuse occurs in that context as well.

selkie said...

I sorta feel the way Orlando does; I'm usually the first to jump on the bandwagon if there is any sense of or even hint of paedophelia.

In thise case however, I always think of it in terms of those naughty British comedies, St. Trinian?? something like that- those girls are ANYTHING but child-like but rather are buxom, curvy and most defijitely the age of consent!

Again, as Orlando says, I think the appeal is the whole 'authority' figure thing; again, becuase I have that kind of mind - I wonder if the age of those who enjoy it has anything to do with it? REason being is I remember being strapped (and damn, there was NOTHING erotic in the least about it - although now that I think on it, there was a teacher who used to bring his wife in to watch us getting strapped.. yeah, seriously and strapping was always after school - definitey something off there!)

but bottom line in this case, I think it fairly harmless.

Either the whole "authority" thing or conversely- memories of your youth??

Anonymous said...

So if those that role-play are secretly pedophiles, can you say that those that do rape scenes are secretly rapists? Or those that beat their subs, are they abusers?

Careful in labeling.

Pygar said...

Thanks Orlando Selkie and Anonymous. You seem to agree that such play usually has nothing to do with paedophilia and I guess you may probably be right - but it doesn't stop me feeling uncomfortable about it on a personal level.

Anonymous - there has been lots of discussion elsewhere on this blog about the difference between abuse and D/s. Though I have to admit, again just on a personal basis, I have some problems too about rape scenarios. However I take your point about men involved in this play not being rapists. However the fantasy is usually that of a woman - but where it is that of a man I do feel a little uncomfortable about that too.

I take your point though that it is important not to label.

xPx

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your response.

I do agree that D/s and abuse are not the same. A sadist is not an abuser, but see that can be looked upon differently by someone who is not into pain.

Someone who wants their partner to fight in the throws of intimacy, is not a rapist but could be interpreted as such. Bottom line, whatever someone is into, is all about consent.

Some here have spoken about working with abused women, but are ok with rape scenes... is the woman not a victim in a real rape? Because it involves age, people cringe without looking at the broad spectrum and realizing that it has to do with consent.

As someone who does like to role play, for me, it's about the fact I as molested as a child and my innocence was stolen from me and I didn't have any say in it. I find my role-playing to be healing as I am the one that says YES to giving myself to my Daddy. YES it is a turn on, and Daddy is NOT a pedophile and has no interest in children. I am into bondage but I am not a pain slut.

As it is, we come from all walks of life...

Lady Xanax said...

I am a female D with a female s. We are both novices in most respects and have been 'together' for about 6 months. However she is a teacher and we have developed a shared fantasy where she is dressed as a school girl and I am her Head Mistress, teaching her how to be my hussy.

We both get very aroused by this scene and she had been purchasing clothes to recreate the perfect school uniform for me. She is due to stay with me soon for some much needed R&R after school ends for the summer.

This doesn't mean that either of us are paedophiles. In fact both of us have suffered abuse as children.

It is simply role play, fantasy. I wouldn't do it if she wasn't comfortable with the whole idea. I can do many things with her but we always communicate with each other and ensure that neither of us do something the other is uncomfortable with.

We are all different in this world and the beauty of BDSM is that it can handle all those differences and doesn't think of you as different.

Like everything else in life, any kind of role play is a personal preference. As long as it doesn't harm anyone else and is between two consenting adults, in my eyes, there is no harm done.

Pygar said...

Thank you Anonymous and Lady Xanax.

I think you both bring together those important themes of consent and the variety of differences between us all - that in BDSM and D/s we can explore fantasies in a safe way that harms nobody.

I am pleased that you are both getting so much from this role play.

Best wishes

xPx

deardelilah said...

Just wanted to chime in with a lot of people here...it's all about personal preference. While I think some pedophiles (like the one described in comments who saw an escort instead of abusing little girls) may enact this fantasy as a substitute for the real thing, I think that for most people it's just one of the many scenarios available for a roleplayed power imbalance - boss/secretary, cop/prisoner, professor/schoolgirl, and so on.

Interestingly, while I am female and have a relationship with a man I call Daddy, what we do is much more along the lines of gay Daddy/boy play than ageplay or schoolgirl roleplay. Though I'll admit to wearing pigtails once in a while just to mess with his brain. :)

K said...

I don't really have any input on any of the generalizations. I will say this, though. Hubby has never had any interest in school girl role play. Now that I've decided to return to school to finish my degree, the thought of having his own private school girl to enjoy doesn't seem so bad.

Pygar said...

Thanks deardelilah.

I hope you are only messing with your Daddy's brain in the most positive of ways!

I am sure too dear K that Hubby is very fortunate to have his own private school girl to enjoy!

xPx