Friday, 9 July 2010

love and affection

I have just posted a new query on Uncle Agony. If you have any thoughts please do add a comment there.

It got me thinking about the emotional intensity of D/s relationships. In my own experience even online relationships can become very intense very quickly.

Rather than Doms having no feelings for their subs and an inability to love as has been suggested there, I find the opposite. There is something so very special about the act of submission. There is a great power in that precious gift such that I then feel a need to nurture and care for the sub who has given herself to me so fully. It is a huge responsibility and surely cannot be carried out properly without affection, care, trust, respect ... and yes, love.

I cannot imagine not feeling some love for a woman who gave herself to me so totally.

9 comments:

David said...

The relationship between a dominant and a submissive is first and foremost, simply, a relationship between two people. It has all of those feelings of affection, friendship, closeness, loving and caring, in both directions, as does any other relationship . . .

I invite you to read the rest of this at What's In It For Me - and then perhaps have a look at some of the other posts. While I do not often talk specifically about a particular relationship, I think you will get a sense of how a dominant, or at least this one, lives in a relationship.

Good Luck to you.

Jz said...

I like to think (hope?) you are correct because my relationship with my Dom is certainly something special to me. It would be disappointing to learn I was just another grey cat...

Pygar said...

Thanks David and Jz - I think for most of those who comment on this blog the quality of relationship is central.

Thanks too David for the link. I hope others follow it and find it as interesting as I did.

I am sure too Jz that you could never be "just another grey cat..."

xPx

Maryann Sloan said...

Dear Pygar,
Power exchange enhances intimacy for me. If it didn't it would feel like abuse, I think.
Maryann

Pygar said...

Thank you Maryann.

Yes that close line between such sensual, perhaps sado-masochistic intimacy and abuse ... it is the love, repect and trust that makes it special and desirable.

I miss it so at the moment.

xPx

Maryann Sloan said...

Dear Pygar,
I don't think the line between intimacy and abuse is close at all. Intimacy/love/affection, even the sado-masochistic kind, enhances a relationship. Abuse destroys it. One protects consent at all times; the other is not consensual. One brings satisfaction to both parties; the other harms both parties.

I do get your point, though, and I hope you are not long without all the intimacy, love, and affection your heart and hands can hold.
Maryann

Pygar said...

Thank you Maryann. I do understand you. Thank you also for your kind wishes.

xPx

Ron said...

As a Dom i totally agree with the concept...that the act of a sub giving herself to me is the most emotional and loving thing i know.

I find it frustrating to know and play with a sub who cannot return emotional closeness...there are a lot who enjoy the act but not the emotional tie.... unrequited love Ds style

Pygar said...

Thank you Ron.

I too have come across subs who have been unable to form the emotional tie. So often it is expected perhaps as the other way round. Mmmm - something for me to think about.

- P