Wednesday, 15 June 2011

displays of submisson

I have been interested that many subs enjoy having a physical display of their submission. The wearing of a collar is a very popular example of this and I know many subs find wearing a collar very powerful.

Others take if even further into marking of their body. Many enjoy the marking that can come from a beating and enjoy it when these marks last for a while. Perhaps that too helps maintain the memory of a special time. Though I am really thinking here of examples such as tattoos. There are those who have a slave registration number or bar-code tattooed on their body. Clearly this emphasises their total commitment to their role.

Though perhaps in that case Doms should also do something similar!

Physical manifestations can be a powerful reminder and I have occasionally used items such as jewellery, chains etc in this way with a sub.

I wonder though if many Doms wear anything as a reminder of their dominance and commitment and whether that is as powerful a reminder for them.

14 comments:

DanesWood said...

Sophia wore a steel collar that was locked around her neck.

I wore the allen key that locked it as a pendant around my neck until the day she died.

The solidness of the steel was a constant reminder to us both of the connection. When I needed to feel her close to me I would touch the chain and key.

When Sophia needed to feel me she would hold tightly onto her collar. I know there were times she took great comfort in that.

Alice said...

I've often wondered this same thing. I've seen a website or two where they advertise rings for Doms/Masters/etc. I thought that was a good idea. Chess, my husband and Dom, doesn't wear anything, but then again I don't really either although I've always wanted something physical to remind me of my role, marks from "beatings" fade with time and I've been denied the request of a tattoo (although that is being reconsidered, yay!) Anyway, I'll be interested to see what others say about this.

pixiepie said...

I think it would be wonderful. I love residual marks, welts and bruising. Even days later if there is evidence on my person that he hurt me- I glowed.
I've been given jewelry, rings, collars...but nothing made me feel as owned as cane marks striping my bottom.

Goddess Aphrodite said...

Good point about the collar. It is very powerful to have a physical reminder, or some token. I would prefer something less obvious in the public, like a decorative choker that could pass as jewelry.

But never thought about the Dom wearing anything. I think it would only strengthen an existing relationship. The sub would see it as verification and declaration.

On a side note, this reminds me that today I saw a business man in a meeting swearing a thick, heavy leather-banded watch. It was at odds with his business attire. It actually turned me on in the meeting to imagine that he might secretly be a Dom.

Anyway, I would love the idea of my Dom wearing something as a token of our relationship...yes.

HEDONE said...

Great question. I'll keep peeking back to see what else folks are saying.

-H

kytten said...

Lyon, my husband and Dom, has said that He would like to get me a "lockable" steel collar like the one DanesWood mentions. Whether He would like to wear the key is another question, though (i don't know).

If it weren't so derned expensive (ahem), i like this one very much (sorry for the long link): http://customers.skymesh.net.au/~walraven/necklace/Neck0081.html. It's a fairly discreet collar with a magnetically encoded lock. The "key" is embedded in a ring, presumably for the Dom to wear. i've always found that idea appealing (as a sub).

Just a thought...

kytten

Stormy said...

We don't use anything, but I like some necklaces I have seen. I don't like the idea of collars. Marks left on me do make me feel submissive but it's not always a good feeling. There are times it's just upsetting and a reminder of a punishment I'd rather forget.

blossom said...

i would have worn a choker as my every day collar which i loved to wear. i did want to buy him something but he wouldnt let me, which was a pity as i felt it would have connected us both more given we were in a LDR.

blossom xx

nilla said...

i have a heavy gold chain that is my collar, which i only wear with Him (how could i explain that to my wife? i never buy myself jewelery).

i have given him a beautiful amethyst crystal which had significance to me, and which he keeps in his car, and a stuffed lion (a beanie baby!)since He is my Lion...

little tangible reminders of each other since we are more often apart than together...

i do love my bruises...they last a long time. i'm always sad to see them go...

nilla

Sir JMark said...

My slave wears a semi-permanent collar (one that I have the tool to remove) and a Slave Register tattoo.

I wear my honor and integrity.

Sir JMark

Pygar said...

Thank you all. There are some very personal statements here. I appreciate the kindness and openness of describing your own "displays" - as sub or Dom.

There was great comfort in that for some.

Thank you particularly to Daneswood for sharing something I know is still very precious to you.

But thank you all - everyone's submission is precious to them and their Master.

It was interesting to hear of views about physical marking as well as collars and other things one may wear. Some but few Doms wore anything symbolic. I sense it may be less important for men to have a symbol of their dominance whereas more women find some succour in that. Or rather than being a M/f thing is it a D/s thing?

I have often encouraged my subs to wear something as a symbol of their submission as I know it can work well in helping the development of their psychological and emotional development as a submissive. However I have never felt the same need as a Dom.

That is not to say I would not do so as a symbol of commitment. For instance I have always worn a wedding ring.

To sum up I was amused by the last response from Sir JMark (- thank you for that) where his sub wears permanent physical marks and a collar - whereas he wears his honour and integrity.

Ultimately honour and integrity are the important things - but there can be solace in symbolism too.

Again - thank you all

P xxxx

Eden said...

My sub and I have bracelets that are very similar. I wear it almost all of the time minus showers as does he. It's something small but it still means a lot to both of us.

Game Master said...

These are all such great stuff. I'm sadly only into online bdsm. Which is role play so that won't help me.... Great to see what you guys put

Pygar said...

Thank you Game Master for your contribution to this thread. It has brought me back to it to reread it after so many years. I have enjoyed doing so very much. There were such fascinating and deeply personal responses. It was a delight to rediscover them.

Perhaps I may return to the topic in a new post soon.

Thank you all again

P xx