Monday, 26 September 2011

bondage

I seem to have revisited a number of topics so was surprised when I realised I had not talked yet of bondage.

Bondage fits so well with domination and submission that I am surprised if most such relationships do not incorporate it at least occasionally.

It fits in perhaps with the "helpless" post below. It creates an immediacy of power and control - and of course helplessness. There is a sensuality to it also and some subs just love the feeling of being held close by the ropes, challenged by positions and even the marks the ropes can leave.

There is beauty too in some ties. Japanese Shibari and Kinbaku can be regarded as art forms. I do enjoy that, however for myself I do not want the aesthetic of it to take away from sensual and dominance aspects of it.

I once tied a sub when naked in a lovely body harness that left her arms and legs free. She then got dressed over the top and we went out for the day. The feel of the rope moving on her skin and holding her close as well as pressing into intimate areas reminded her throughout the day of her control and submission. We had a lovely time when we returned home!

I wonder how it is for readers. Do Doms enjoy the control and power that bondage can bring? Do subs enjoy the sensuality and acceptance of control and the helplessness of being in bondage? Are there others who do not like it at all or who may even be fearful of it?

10 comments:

Signed Loving said...

Some "bondage" scares me. But I suppose we do like "light" bondage if there is such a thing.

Velvet said...

I love the feeling of being held tightly. Ropes are very special for us and have formed part of our relationship since the word go. They are a real turn on for both of us and I love the beauty and patterns of shibari. We don't often mix rope and leather (the exception being my leather collar which I almost always wear) but leather restraints feature prominantly in our play too. I love the sensuality of being held tight in her arms or restrained by His hands too. I have never felt helpless. Exposed: yes. At His mercy: yes. I also feel free. He has the control, and He makes the decisions. I do not have the think or decide, just respond. If I felt helpless I think it would show a lack of trust. I trust Him totally.

Velvet <3

David said...

Interesting that the word bondage for me has a hard harshness to it that seems to be overkill. I confess I find intricate rope bondage like Shibari fascinating to look at though. I can see the appeal of tight, constrictive binding and, as you say, the kind of aesthetics that leave marks afterward.

Personally, for play purposes, I am a great fan of restraint. While restraint is definitely bondage, the distinction I make is I tend to use a minimum of rope to effectively create the binding. Perhaps a single or two wraps around the wrists, loose enough that the wrists will still turn inside the loop of the rope, but tight enough that the hand will not escape. I like the sense of movement that is still permitted by this style of lighter restraint, permitting struggle and effort to escape. Similarly with the ankles, again, enough that feet and legs can move and effort. Of course the addition of a gag of some sort and/or blindfolding might add to it.

Perhaps it is that struggling damsel action and notion that appeals to me.

nancy said...

As a submissive I have to say I love bondage. I've never had anything intricate such as Shibari; I think it would be quite an intense experience
When Sir ties me it is so he can let his sadistic side out; there is nothing I can do.
I love the feeling of being helpless in those bonds and having to just be there for him to use.
Of course, I can fight and struggle.. but it doesn't stop him
Of course there is the mental bondage that he uses, but I think that might be a different post.

blossom said...

Oh i love the ropework that is shown in Shibari, and to me it truely shows the control and the closeness that a submissive feels when she has been tied by her Dominant. Your sub must have felt very special when You put a body harness on her and she was able to walk around knowing what she wore underneath her clothing. Lucky girl as this is something that i have never experienced but hope to some day.

blossom xx

Pygar said...

SL - thank you. Yes I am sure there is such a thing as "light bondage" and others have also referred to it.

Thanks Velvet for explaining so well your feelings of being held tightly and helpless in bondage - and the reminder of the importance of trust. It makes me want to dash out and find a passing sub to play in such a way!

I think you are right David that restraint is bondage. It does not have to be the complicated positions and rope work that are sometimes seen. At its simplest perhaps it just is enough restraint to provide that feeling of control. And yes - that struggling damsel is so appealing isn't she?

Thanks too nancy for sharing your feelings of being in bondage. Yes - perhaps the mental bondage could be a new post. I am always grateful for ideas!!!

I hope too blossom that one day you will feel that bondage. Perhaps it will be quite soon.

Thank you to you all.

P xx

Stormy said...

I am not naturally submissive, so I like it when he simply holds me down with his body or strong hands on my wrists. It definitely helps me feel submissive.

Stormy

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Christina said...

Perhaps as a "novice submmisive" in my fantasies I would like "light" bondage! However, I too am afraid of being bound , gagged, blindfolded!!

Pygar said...

Thank you Stormy and Christina.

I think stormy that being held in the way you describe for some provides that same feeling of helplessness and control that many enjoy in bondage.

I wonder Christina what aspect of bondage it is that you fear? You also say you like the idea of "light" bondage. I wondered if you might welcome the sensual feeling of rope and being bound but be fearful of the aspect of helplessness. Then I noted that your next comment was to my post on "helpless". So I wonder if I may have been right?

P xx