When I know she is fully committed and is feeling secure in our relationship then I can order her to do anything, control her totally, dismiss her complaints as mere whining and berate her for her behaviour. It is what she needs.
However when she is doubting, genuinely needing more than I can give and expresses this - then at times she still may need berating and controlling - just be told how it has to be. However, I find that harder to balance. If she is not totally happy in giving herself to me then I cannot use her.
There is a danger then of a downward spiral where I am not giving her what she needs, so she doubts more so then I am even less able to meet her needs.
We need to build on an upward spiral again.
I wonder if other couples go through such times?
taking the lead - J had been reading an earlier post on Uncle Agony, "brand spanking new to the D/s world". Reading it stimulated him to write an email of his own to Uncle A...
2 months ago