I have often baulked at the idea of being a sadist.
I don't think of myself as a sadist. Outside of a BDSM context I am a kind and gentle person and would not wish anyone harm. On the contrary I feel strongly about issues to do with people who are harmed by others.
Of course I wish no harm to anyone - especially to someone I love and care for. I suppose I see sadism as something that sets out to cause harm. That is surely not me.
But to cause hurt rather than harm. Again I would not deliberately hurt anyone outside of a D/s relationship. Within that relationship it is only as part of control and as a response to a masochistic desires that I cause pain.
In that context though ...
... well all right. I admit it. I like causing pain. It arouses me. It arouses me when my sub asks me to cause her pain. I get pleasure when I see that talking of giving her pain arouses her. I love the connection of pain and arousal. I love searching for the connection between pain and pleasure. I love exploring all these things with my submissive woman and learning more about each other and our desires.
Before, after and alongside the giving of pain though, I give reassurance and caresses and kisses and pleasure.
She says I am a kind sadist.
Are you a sadist? Is your Master a sadist? Is kindness or an equivalent a necessary part of this for you?
taking the lead - J had been reading an earlier post on Uncle Agony, "brand spanking new to the D/s world". Reading it stimulated him to write an email of his own to Uncle A...
2 months ago