I have just published an exchange on Uncle Agony with a husband who believes his wife wants him to take the initiative in sex and to control her. You can read the post here. (Do please add any thoughts or advice for my correspondent there.)
It has got me thinking though about the wider issue of consent in sexual play.
In the example J believes his wife wants him to tame her. She is strong and controlling herself but he believes she desires to be tamed, for him to fight for control of her in a sexual context. Clearly if the scenario was agreed and discussed beforehand then this could take place as a play scene and they could have fun with it.
However that would remove the reality from it. She would no longer be being taken as she had already given her consent.
Many women have a "rape fantasy" though none would want ever to be raped. Some couples engage in "rape play" scenarios. These can even be contrived into very sophisticated scenarios. However for some women they are wanting their husband to truly take control and decide when, where and how sex should take place.
In such cases how can consent be assumed? How does one avoid it turning into real rape?
I would be interested in reading general comments here and ones specific to J on the Uncle Agony blog post.
Do any readers have direct experience of this?
taking the lead - J had been reading an earlier post on Uncle Agony, "brand spanking new to the D/s world". Reading it stimulated him to write an email of his own to Uncle A...
2 months ago