Thursday, 16 January 2014

Being Dominant

Discussing learning about dominance here and here I found myself thinking again about the concept of dominance - and 'domliness' if there is such a thing.

I was wondering whether the usual image of it in a person may be quite wide of the mark. That may be why so many 'pretend' or 'wannabe' doms just don't quite manage it. They perhaps invest too much on the outward trappings without having the inner qualities.

Some Doms may have all the alpha qualities that perhaps fit the image of a powerful, dominant, controlling personality. I don't think they are necessary though. Other doms may be quiet, unassuming, friendly, kind, almost reticent - yet somehow they always seem toget their way, to be in control, often without one even noticing it.

Is that not also dominance?

8 comments:

Anna May said...

I see dominance as the latter of the two. A good Dom does not need to outwardly show it. I feel it is implied through his actions.

When one has to constantly show their dominance it comes off as a weakness, at least for me.

Pygar said...

Thanks Anna May. I end to agree with you.

However, I wonder if many (most?) women turned on by outward signs of assertiveness and dominance in men?

P xx

Reverend Morgan said...

Excellent! It's nice to see some very human stuff on the interwebs in regards to Dominance. I've been following you for a bit now and always appreciate what I find here.I happily pass it around on all of the social networking sites for www.dominantguide.com (I'm the lead contributor there). I wonder if you would consider writing for us at some point? Just a guest post, or more if you like. I think your voice would be a wonderful addition to the variety we like to present.

And if not, I'll keep reading your stuff and sharing it. Thank you!

Rev

Pygar said...

I'm pleased you follow the blog and find it interesting Rev. Thanks for your kind words.

I will try to email you to discuss your suggestion.

P xx

K said...

Yes it absolutely is! My new Daddy at first seemed to me like a regular nice guy. (I fed into the stereotype image that only a tall, arrogant, center of attention man can be "dominant"). Well, come to find out, he has all the true characteristics of Domliness.. he has self-control, a master of himself first, he has patience, understanding and he simply commands respect by giving it. I had no idea I had stumbled across the right Dom for me, but thankfully he won me over. "Don't judge a book by its cover." :)

Pygar said...

Thanks K. I am glad you agree. I'm also pleased that you have found a Dom who is just right for you.

P xx

nilla said...

it is more compelling, I think, to be having a "normal" conversation with my Master...and suddenly come face to face with that...that...*thing* He does. It isn't overt. It isn't a "drop your drawers and suck me here in Starbucks."..it is harder to put to words. It comes from inside--a quiet control that he uses to put me in my place. He doesn't have to raise his voice, only an eyebrow, to catch my attention. From the outside? One might never know one was being carefully manipulated. That of course, doesn't mean that He can't be very firm, sometimes harsh, during playtime. I love that I can't pin Him down... :)

And he doesn't have to don leather pants and a torn tee shirt to be a dom...it is just part of who He is.

Domlyness is an attitude, more than a costume.

nilla

Pygar said...

Thanks very much nilla.

"Domlyness is an attitude, more than a costume.

Exactly!

P xx