It can be fun to control orgasm. The Dom of course gets fun from exercising control in a very intimate setting. There can be pleasure for the sub too. Insisting on a sub asking permission before coming can keep the sub at that level of being on the edge of orgasm for some time. That can be a very pleasurable place to be - as well as frustrating for some. When given permission to come after this period of delay can result in an even more intense orgasm. Training a sub to come on demand can I am sure be great fun also. I have heard from those who say they can come on the command of a particular word - or through counting down. That could be very interesting in a crowded restaurant! I will often command Inès to come as she is approaching orgasm which gets her to associate my command with her orgasm. She now says she gets pleasure from the command and it can assist her in achieving orgasms on occasions where she is tired and didn't think she could come again. Though we are certainly nowhere near the stage of coming to orgasm just from the command.
I am not sure of the pleasure involved in long term orgasm control such as the wearing of chastity devices for extended periods but there are those who gain pleasure from this as Doms and subs.
I have been reminded recently though in correspondence with a friend that there can be dangers where this is taken too far and goes beyond the sphere of pleasure and the control becomes conditioning that can have long term negative consequences for the submissive. My friend has left her husband and Dom after many years of what she now recognises as abuse. She now has some serious sexual problems because of the long term effects of orgasm control. Another correspondent had a very similar experience and wrote about it in some detail to Uncle Agony some time ago. You can read her story here. (There is more discussion of the issue on this blog here and here.)
Do you enjoy controlling the orgasms of another or having your orgasms controlled? Is there any danger in this? Can it have unforeseen consequences? Are there other aspects of conditioning inherent in BDSM activity that can also be potentially psychologically harmful?
Sticking point - Mary emailed me again recently. Things seem to be going very well for her but she has a problem. I'll let her explain: I have a question that you and perha...
2 weeks ago