on being judgemental...

There was an interesting discussion on my last post 'being judgemental...'

I was prepared to receive some flack in the comments but it developed some interesting points. For instance Neriche had experience of women who had been abused in the past discovering a safe place in the BDSM world. Jz made it clear she felt it was fine to be speak ones mind about things one believes to be wrong and that was not the same as "being judgemental". So that gives me my justification!

One of the issues I was trying to address was that of lifestyle relationships in particular. I suppose I am worried about where the line lies between genuinely happy and caring BDSM relationships and those where the dynamic might be manipulated by a Dom and has an underlying abusive element. Abby had something to say about that and also Bleue though she also pointed out the abuse she has seen in play settings.

One of the things that prompted my post was having had long conversations with women who had come to recognise that their BDSM lifestyle relationships were in fact abusive and walked out. This is not a simple and easy action for a sub, both emotionally and physically. It can have a long term impact in many ways.

Dani was one such and has posted her response here. She is a strong and brave woman who has suffered a lot in many ways and who was in extreme danger at more than one time. I suppose I worry about those subs who may not be as strong, brave and determined as she was.