a passionate Dom

I noticed that a Dom who commented on a post a little while back described himself as a passionate Dom. I joked in an email exchange that I would steal the phrase from him!

On Beau I originally described myself as "a hopeless romantic". Then after a discussion with an online sub friend changed it to "a hopeful romantic". On this blog I described myself as "a kind Dom". It was intended as an apparent contradiction - to try to emphasise that the D part of D/s could be caring and affectionate. A sub who I met described me after an encounter as "a sensual Dom". I liked that very much and have quoted it often. But then the notion of "a passionate Dom" came up.

Yes - "a passionate Dom"!!!! That seemed to be something to aspire to.

However I came across a thread on a message board a little while ago where the writer bemoaned the fact as a female sub that she no long had passionate sex. That her partner as her Dom always had to be in control and therefore could not let himself go in the wild way needed to create a truly passionate encounter.

So I wonder - is she right? Is "a passionate Dom" even more of a contradiction than "a kind Dom"? What do readers think?

feeling needed

An "ex" said to me a few days ago that she believed I had to feel needed. Unlike much else she said of me (it was a somewhat heated exchange!) I pondered on the possible truth of this. I wondered also if it was a Dom thing.

I do know that it is true that I enjoy affection - don't we all. It is quite lovely to have someone express strong affection for oneself, love even, but do I want to be needed? I wondered whether having someone need me is too much of a stress. It may not even involve the affection. Need is a very powerful thing - and trying to meet the expectations of such need could be very demanding.

However, is that part of what Domination and submission is about? That a sub needs the control of her Master which is the reason for her submission to him? There is something in that which frightens me a little though. I would rather it came from affection than need in that sense - where it was me personally that was needed as opposed to the control and other aspects of domination that I could give. Perhaps it is the personalisation of such need that I shirk away from.

But still I wonder if the desire for power that may be part of domination includes a desire to be needed. I would be interested in how other Doms and subs perceive this.

Beau's blog

I have another blog which I write under the name of Beau. Many readers may have first known me there. It started as a bit of fun following from an earlier Beau blog which I closed. I used it for writing erotica and for some tongue in cheek playfulness with some online blogging friends.

My erotica then moved to the Dragonfly Geisha blog where I wrote as Takumi, Katashi and Beau but have not written there for well over a year. Beau's blog became a place where I mainly posted silly or erotic things I found on the web mostly with a BDSM slant. I do write very occasionally there or publish occasional photos of my own.

Recently I published a poem - Mannequin - by an online acquaintance. She was thrilled to be asked for permission to publish her poem and a photograph and I was very pleased to do so. It made me wonder if there may be other creative readers out there who might like to have a poem, photograph or some other creative work published there.

If you are interested please do get in touch.

"hugs heal"

"Hugs heal." I read this on a message board recently in relation to a bereavement. Two people at least subscribed to the kind thought.

I am a firm believer in hugs - whether needed or not! They are definitely needed after (and sometimes before) a BDSM play session. A sub needs to know she is loved and cared for and a hug is a physical manifestation of friendship and care.

I like hugging friends, both male and female. There is nothing sexual in it. If there is then it turns into a cuddle, a caress which can lead delightfully to other things. That is fine but it is good to know a hug can be non-sexual. Just there to offer care and friendship and support. As such it can be very, very, very powerful.

But ...

Hugs don't heal ... though they can ease the pain.

Uncle Agony

I have just published a new letter, "a virgin sub", on the Uncle Agony blog.

If you have any supportive comments to add there I am sure they will be welcomed.

Religious Spam

I know other BDSM and D/s bloggers have at times been inundated with critical comments from a Christian perspective. I recently received a comment of this nature that was just spam. It all seemed very pointless. If anyone wants to engage in serious debate with me then I am prepared to listen and respond - within reason!

But this comment seemed to be very pointless. I include the content here - and my response:

Anonymous said...

1 John 1:9-10
9. If we confess our sins, he (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him (God) a liar, and his (God*s) word is not in us.

Read the Holy Bible, praying to The Holy Spirit ((refer to John 14:26 in the Holy Bible)).***The Holy Bible is the ocean of
unlimited spiritual treasures; gifts; blessings; rights and privileges & unlimited spiritual inheritance of grace, righteousness, merits and rewards FOR FREE TO EVERYONE ***&&& EVERYONE! EARN AS MUCH AS, WISHES TO EARN.

http://4justice.org/

N.B. Please send this to ten or maximum people you can.

November 5, 2010 6:53 PM

Pygar said...

Hello Anonymous

I am not really sure how to respond to your comment. It is clearly spam - and intended to create more spam through asking others to pass it on.

Personally I am not religious though I know some of my readers are. There are issues that many with a strong religious faith - not just Christian but of a variety of faiths - may have with BDSM. However there are Christian and Muslim saints who have used flagellation to achieve religious experiences.

If you are unhappy with aspects of this site then please join in with relevant comments and we can have an intelligent discussion.

That is what this blog is all about.

xPx

PS Can I spank you?

November 5, 2010 9:42 PM

I would be interested in the views of readers.

humour

Shouldn't it be fun?

Yes this is serious but perhaps it is not always to be taken too seriously.

I love to to smile and laugh and yes - to see a sub smile and laugh, as well as her expressions of agony and ecstasy.

I will never forget a certain sub giggling, gurgling and growling as I dripped hot wax all over her naked body ...

Do you too like to have fun ... or is it all too serious a matter for that?