Tuesday, 9 August 2011

a gift

Is submission a gift?

I have often described it such - as a precious gift from a sub to a Dom. Something that when given deserves care, respect and loyalty in return at the very least.

However this was recently questioned on another site. The writer - a sub herself - questioned why it should be described in this way. She wondered why was domination not a gift? She did not describe other attributes and skills in a vanilla relationship in this way. So why was submission a gift?

I still think it is but it has left me confused!

12 comments:

K said...

They can both be gifts. Perhaps by accepting the sub's submission, the Dom is giving a gift. And by sub accepting the Dom's control, the sub is giving a gift. The two cannot be separated though. A gift isn't a gift without the receiver accepting it. Which Then becomes a gift in and of itself. Ok..i'm making my head hurt lol..K

Sweet girl said...

I have always said that dominance is just as big a gift as submission -for both give equally; the sub gives herself through and through, loyally. The Dom gives his security, confidence, care and leadership in return. And in the end love flows both ways (and as discussed before, it does not have to be romantic love, but at least an emotional connection).
To me, my Dom is a great gift to me, one that I cherish, respect and appreciate just as much as he does me and my submission.

Kitty said...

It's difficult for me to submit at times, so yes, I'd say it's a gift, because I could, if I wanted to, NOT submit and then WW3 might break out, lol!

Kitty

abby said...

I also have always thought of both submission and dominance as gifts. We are each giving each other something special. The giving is fluent, depending on who needs more. abby

Stormy said...

Hmmm, I can only say what it is for me. To me, since I am not naturally submissive at all..I do not crave it- it IS a gift I offer for the good of our relationship and because he is naturally dominant. I offer my complete submission because it is the fit and the balance to his dominance, and we need to embrace those complimenting roles. His dominance is not a gift to me, as it is just WHO he is.

SubRosaNoMore said...

Speaking as a switch, I think they both are gifts in their own ways as each is accepted by the other. Dominance is accepted by the submissive so it quaifies as a gift. It cannot really be forced upon the sub as he/she always has their safe word. A Dominant cannot coerce - submission is given and accepted, so it too is a gift. Each is giving of themselves in very personal, intimate ways.

Alice said...

I agree 100% with Sweet girl. I've always seen it as a gift both ways, submission and Dominance, each in their own way, being a gift.

blossom said...

i believe that both are gifts, the gift of the Dom's knowledge, experience, leadership, protection and the subs gift of herself and her submission to him. They both accept these so to me are gifts to each other.

blossom x

nancy said...

What I get from Sir is absolutely a gift from him.. and he feels what I give him is a gift.

So we agree~~ both sides give and receive gifts. Happy, lucky us!

Sky said...

I think submission is truly a gift and one to be treasured. His dominance is his reciprocal gift. Neither one of us HAS to give a gift but we choose to do so knowing it will be revered. We certainly wouldn't give our gift to someone that isn't going to cherish it! The dominant brings (hopefully) his gifts of knowledge. A good DM has taken the time to learn and continue to learn various skills too... Bondage, wax play, etc and IMHO those too are gifts.

original_me said...

Wow! I think that they are both giving the other something special, but also agree with Kitty. It is my choice whether or now I will submit. :) Hugs & kisses.

Pygar said...

Thank you all very much for your thoughts.

There seems to be agreement that submission is a gift. However I was surprised - and as a Dom somewhat touched - that many of you also thought that Domination was also a gift.

Thank you for that.

P xx