while I am away ...

I shall be away for a couple of weeks.

To keep you busy while I am away I have published a new email exchange here on Uncle Agony.

Do visit and add your comments.

Thanks

P xx

bondage

I seem to have revisited a number of topics so was surprised when I realised I had not talked yet of bondage.

Bondage fits so well with domination and submission that I am surprised if most such relationships do not incorporate it at least occasionally.

It fits in perhaps with the "helpless" post below. It creates an immediacy of power and control - and of course helplessness. There is a sensuality to it also and some subs just love the feeling of being held close by the ropes, challenged by positions and even the marks the ropes can leave.

There is beauty too in some ties. Japanese Shibari and Kinbaku can be regarded as art forms. I do enjoy that, however for myself I do not want the aesthetic of it to take away from sensual and dominance aspects of it.

I once tied a sub when naked in a lovely body harness that left her arms and legs free. She then got dressed over the top and we went out for the day. The feel of the rope moving on her skin and holding her close as well as pressing into intimate areas reminded her throughout the day of her control and submission. We had a lovely time when we returned home!

I wonder how it is for readers. Do Doms enjoy the control and power that bondage can bring? Do subs enjoy the sensuality and acceptance of control and the helplessness of being in bondage? Are there others who do not like it at all or who may even be fearful of it?

humiliation and the approach of Doms

My recent post about humiliation was partly inspired by a recent email from a correspondent. She wanted to know if use of a humiliating task by a Dom as a test of her submission was an appropriately thing for a Dom to do.

You can read her email and my response on Uncle Agony here. Please do visit and add your own comments if you have a view.

Humiliation

I am not into this in a big way at all. Perhaps in small ways that help enhance a sub's feelings of submission. However I know there are subs who get off on this in a big way - and also Doms who love to humiliate.

A recent correspondent told me of a very humiliating task she was expected to carry out. She could not do it - it was completely out of her nature and potentially dangerous as well as humiliating and degrading. It was the end of their relationship. He "released" her saying she was a wannabe and not a sub. I rather feel that he was the "wannabe" and would not have given a task to his sub that she could not complete if he truly understood her and cared for her.

However there are subs who thrive on humiliation. A sub friend of mine is such a one. A previous Master made her submit to and have sex with strangers, take photographs of herself masturbating in a male toilet, masturbate in her car at a lay-by with traffic passing, urinate wearing tight jeans standing in a busy shopping mall and probably far worse she has never told me of or I have forgotten! She is a mature, strong and intelligent woman. However she thrives on this.

I wonder how readers respond to this area. Can you enjoy being humiliated or humiliating another? Does it strengthen the D/s dynamic for you? Or rather, is it just in danger of removing respect and trust and destroying the dynamic.

Is submission itself a humiliation?

helpless

I can't remember how the word came into my mind recently.

Now I can't get rid of it as I have the Neil Young song relentlessly going through my mind.

However it seemed to me a counter balance to my previous post about fear. I was thinking of the positive and erotic aspect of helplessness. Who of us Doms does not find that aspect of submission so special - to have another helpless, totally under our control unable to do anything except submit to our desires?

And is that not also what many subs seek - to experience exactly that from the other side. To be truly "helpless".

Do you seek helplessness?

I wonder if lack or fear helps you find it - or whether you seek it to experience that frisson of fear?