Thursday, 4 October 2012


Maryann Lovejoy suggested spanking a partner to tears in a comment to a post on Uncle Agony. (Do read the full comment in context here.)

I remember writing a story about this for a friend a long time ago. (I must hunt it out.) She had often said she wanted to be spanked to tears. She had so much grief and distress welling up inside her but could not let it out. She could only cry for others but not for herself.

So she wanted to be spanked or beaten until she cried.

I am not sure I would have been strong enough. I know I did not try. Though in the end I brought her to tears through kindness instead.

I am lucky in having a woman now who is mine. I can do what I want with her. I can spank her and beat her as hard as I want. I am not sure though that I could spank her to tears. She is very strong. I am not sure what purpose spanking her to tears would serve and I feel it could be cruelty. I will discuss it with her.

I know for some that tears can be a great catharsis. They can help one feel better and move on.

I have cried in front of my submissive woman but I am not sure she has cried in front of me.

It can be a strength to cry.

To be happy to shed tears in front of another can show trust and be a sign of ones closeness.

Do you cry? For some it is too easy, for others too hard. Have you been beaten to tears? Would you like to be?

Or ... do you beat your sub to tears? How do you both feel about that?


cuddlykitten said...

I have a hard time crying in front of other people. I've not been brought to tears during a scene, though there were times when I wanted to.

There's an extreme emotional vulnerability in crying, for me. It takes so much trust and belief in another person for me to be physically, mentally, and emotionally open all at once.

Sometimes I would like to be brought to that edge of tears and pushed over it. Maybe some day.

Storm said...

I have been beaten to tears. Though truthfully, the tears came as soon as he told me he was disappointed in me.
So I'm not sure that the tears could be entirely credited to physical actions...

Pygar said...

Thank you simplyHis.

As you say, there is an "extreme emotional vulnerability in crying." For me true submission is where one can open oneself to become so very emotionally vulnerable - because it then demonstrates the trust and belief that you talk of. Is that at the heart of a truly submissive relationship.

Perhaps that is what you are striving for when you have the desire to be brought to the edge of tears and pushed over.

Maybe some day! Good luck.

P xx

Pygar said...

Thanks lil for telling us of when you were brought to tears.

It is interesting that you surmise that the tears were caused by your recognition of having disappointed him rather than from the physical aspect. I have heard others say similar things.

Thanks again

P xx

Wallpapers said...

nice blog

nbs said...

Sir has cried in front of me often..he is one of the most emotionally open men I've ever met.

He has made me cry often. He loves my tears that come from his beating or whipping or whatever.
Initially, I found it hard to remember that he actually liked my crying.. that it was something he wanted and cherished from me.
These days I am much more likely to cry when he uses me, without thinking about it.

If he ever told me I had disappointed me , I'd cry immediately.
Thankfully, I have not disappointed him. I don't plan to do so, either!

Pygar said...

Thank you nbs for sharing this very personal account with us. I love the fact that your Sir cherishes your tears.

I think it is good to have such an outlet for tears. Perhaps it is something we all would benefit from.

P xx

Word said...

While there have been many times I have cried in Wolf's arms, it hadn't been part of a 'scene', but simply because I was upset.

Then there was the point not too long ago where I was so frustrated, upset and drained by various commitments, that I asked 'not to be in control'. It's our 'shorthand' for a submissive playtime. I never know how things will go, as it has involved a variety of things, from spankings, sex and or simply being put to bed and being held. Wolf chose to spank me. While not an especially intense or long session, he pulled me just over that brink to where I dissolved into tears. The moment I began to cry, he held me and cuddled me until I was relaxed. It was the catharsis I needed.

Pygar said...

Thank you Word for telling us of this special incident.

I had expected that I might get more subs writing of spanking to tears perhaps being a catharsis in the way you described so movingly.

P xx

Unknown said...

oh another one i really need to comment on! But first i will go to the one that i've promised to comment on and it's been long overdue...

Pygar said...

Thanks for the excellent comment on the other post melinds Sweetgirl. Don't leave it so long for this one!!!!

P xx

Anonymous said...

Dear Pygar,
Hey look, my comment made it into a post. Who knew?

I have been spanked to tears, but oddly, sometimes I've wanted to cry during a spanking and couldn't. Other times I've cried when I really didn't want to. It is all a mystery to me.

Of course, that suggestion was to both of them, as they were both new and both wanted to find a way for her to let go of her dominance and him to build his. I would never recommend anyone "beat" anyone for any purpose, though lots of folks in this neighborhood like that language... and that is fine with me.

Anyway, thanks for the shout out.
Take care,

Pygar said...

Thank you Maryann. Sorry I didn't let you know in advance. I'm pleased if I manage to post at all at the moment!

But what an interesting reply. I am sure many will empathise with it. Tears are strange things. They arrive at the most unexpected times and refuse to come when most expected.

I do agree with you not to advise anyone to set out to beat another to tears.

With many thanks

P xx

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Pygar. I do hope that couple finds their groove.

Pygar said...

Me too Maryann.

P xx

Unknown said...

Hmm i promised i'd comment this one too. Only i'm not sure how. We've both visited this subject before. I think i might try to write a post about it -if i don't come hunt me down for another comment OK P?

Pygar said...

Ok melinda - I look forward to it.


P xx

Eva said...

I have been beaten to tears. For me, crying comes easily - too easily, I think, sometimes. My emotional life tends to be uncontrolled, and any emotion too big to contain manifests in tears. It does not have to be negative and the tears are always a relief.

The same (ish) goes for being beation to tears. When the pain is more than I think I can handle, I start crying. Usually I can take a lot more pain, and the crying helps me relax and lean into it. It also leaves me very vulnerable.

LizLeia said...

I just found this post and comments while looking into why so many men think that crying is a sign of weakness (still, in 2012!). This is wonderfully refreshing to see so many strong Doms weeping and showing emotion--and blogging about it--so openly. A question to Pygar and the other Doms: what does your sub do that allows you to feel so free to express this? Question for the subs: How do you feel when your Dom cries in front of you? Thanks!

Pygar said...

Thanks Eva and LizLeia.

Readers might be interested in the new topic I have posted relating to this here