Easter Greetings

Have fun this Easter weekend!

I shall be in London (UK) with my woman for a break after Easter. If anyone has any fun or kinky recommendations for while we are there do let me know.

helpless

I'm not sure if the following is more a post for Beau rather than here. I'd saved it here some time ago for future publication so will post it now. 

She loves to be helpless.

To be tied tightly, unable to move, naked, vulnerable, available to my every wish and desire, knowing I can do anything.

Anything.

But not knowing what ...  I want her helpless for me again soon.

I hope you may find yourself deliciously helpless - or have  the one you care for delightfully helpless for you soon.

Have fun over the Easter weekend.

On "no" meaning "no"

I have just published an exchange on Uncle Agony with a husband who believes his wife wants him to take the initiative in sex and to control her. You can read the post here. (Do please add any thoughts or advice for my correspondent there.)

It has got me thinking though about the wider issue of consent in sexual play.

In the example J believes his wife wants him to tame her. She is strong and controlling herself but he believes she desires to be tamed, for him to fight for control of her in a sexual context. Clearly if the scenario was agreed and discussed beforehand then this could take place as a play scene and they could have fun with it.

However that would remove the reality from it. She would no longer be being taken as she had already given her consent.

Many women have a "rape fantasy" though none would want ever to be raped. Some couples engage in "rape play" scenarios. These can even be contrived into very sophisticated scenarios. However for some women they are wanting their husband to truly take control and decide when, where and how sex should take place.

In such cases how can consent be assumed? How does one avoid it turning into real rape?

I would be interested in reading general comments here and ones specific to J on the Uncle Agony blog post.

Do any readers have direct experience of this?

Aftercare

I wrote a little while ago about sub drop here and also on Uncle Agony here. I did not go into a lot of detail there about aftercare though it was raised. In any case it is not something I am an expert on. However I have just come across a series of posts by ara that discuss aftercare.

You can see ara's posts here and here. They include some poetry. Do read the posts if you have time. They are well written, interesting and informative.

ara writes from a personal perspective but also shows knowledge and deep thought about the issues of sub-drop and aftercare. She points out that aftercare can be necessary for Doms as well as subs and that it is just as essential online as in a face to face context.

In preparing for a scene how much do you plan also for the aftercare? What if something goes wrong - are you prepared then for the appropriate support? Following impromptu play are you ready to provide aftercare?

Do most Doms take this seriously enough? Is it something subs expect when they give their submission? Have you had good experiences of aftercare that have helped you recover from a difficult scene, from sub-drop or even from a scene that went well but was just very intense?

These are just a few of my questions but I am sure reading ara's posts will stimulate many more thoughts and ideas.

on Beau's blog ...

A few months ago my woman was worried that she might have a vaginal infection. She went to the sexual health clinic to have it investigated. Not the stuff of romance you might think but I have written of it with a twinkle in my eye in my alter ego Beau's blog here.