Thursday, 13 June 2013

Nerves ...

Do you get nervous before a scene?

Is that positive or negative?

If there were no butterflies before a scene then is that implying an expectation that the scene will hold no power? Surely if a scene is going to be worthwhile then one would expect the sub to be nervous. Otherwise might it be just going through the motions of a well rehearsed set of activities. Surely there needs to be at least some nervous anticipation. I do not believe there should be real fear. I would worry about that. Might it be getting close to abuse if a sub were genuinely fearful before a scene?

So - do you expect to be nervous before a scene or have you become blasé about it? Have you very been really afraid? In which case how do you feel about that and how did it turn out? What about Doms - are you also anxious before a special scene?

11 comments:

tori said...

I do tend to get nervous beforehand, i enjoy the anticipation, wandering what he is going to do etc.

I also do fear it sometimes, but its a fear that its irrational, the easiest way to explain it is....

I dont like spiders, im terrified of them, now i live in the UK so there are no lethal ones, even though i know they cant hurt me im still scared of them..and this is pretty much the same form of fear i have at times before and during a scene.

I know he is going to hurt me but yet its irrational, because i trust him and i know he would not do anything to intentionally damage me...but still i have fear, yet deep down im safe..i know that.

Fear however in this context turns me on,i love that he has this control over me, to provoke these intense reactions.


Desireous said...

Always, always, always!!!

Mistress Mari said...

I definitely experience nervous anticipation for a session or scene, especially when we have a set of things defined to use in our play, but no strict path. The freedom it allows causes a great amount of anticipation because I know that she is putting her faith in me and trusting in me. I know that I can do just about anything within our defined hard limits, and she will accept it and enjoy it because she knows I will never take her too far. It can be quite an intoxicating feeling before I quell it.

Hisprecious slave said...

I tend to get nervous all the time I see Daddy. If I don't get butterflies then I know something is wrong with me.

There was one time that I was really afraid was the time Daddy asked me how rough can He be with me. I told him as rough as He wants. Then I regretted saying it. But at the end of the play session I wanted more. Sure I had whelps and a busted lip but I loved every minute of it.

I'd rather have anticipation then know what I'm getting into for the night. I trust Daddy and Daddy knows best :)

nilla said...

Hi Pygar!

4 years into our relationship and those butterflies are as active as ever before Master and I meet. We usually start "vanilla", meeting for lunch (and some mindfucking!)...but as we get in the elevator, or walk down the long, long hallway? Oh, they ramp right up again.

It's a good thing. It's happy nerves. There is no "script" with Him, nothing "formula-like"...so each playtime is different. And if I ever stop having butterflies? That would be sad, wouldn't it? I can't imagine that happening, frankly. :)

nilla

nilla said...

Hi Pygar!

4 years into our relationship and those butterflies are as active as ever before Master and I meet. We usually start "vanilla", meeting for lunch (and some mindfucking!)...but as we get in the elevator, or walk down the long, long hallway? Oh, they ramp right up again.

It's a good thing. It's happy nerves. There is no "script" with Him, nothing "formula-like"...so each playtime is different. And if I ever stop having butterflies? That would be sad, wouldn't it? I can't imagine that happening, frankly. :)

nilla

Anonymous said...

Hi -

I enjoy when my partner is nervous, but I definitely try to avoid real fear as best I can. She does occasionally have panic attacks and fear could trigger an event neither of us wants.

In our circumstances, fear could easily be abusive and that is not what we are about.

While it does remove some control, the tradeoff is worth it (again for us).

Pygar said...

How interesting that this topic has sparked a number of early comments. Thank you all. Nervousness must be a common thing that many perhaps find a strange delight in.

Interesting too to have two comments from dominants. Thank you Mistress Mari and Anonymous. You make the feeling sound so exciting Mistress Mari for both of you and you describe it beautifully. I can understand Anonymous that you would be fearful of causing panic attacks. It puts an additional responsibility on you.

All of you manage to invoke so well the pleasure that comes from a level of nervous anticipation and how this can sometimes get close to or become fear. So thank you also tori, Desirous, Hisprecious slave and nilla.

I hope though Hisprecious slave that the busted lip was an isolated incident. You had genuine fear then and damage even though you found yourself wanting more. Do take care.

Thank you again to you all.

P xx

nbs said...

I absolutely get nervous beforehand. I'm fine and calm until about 5 or 6 hours before.. then suddenly I wonder what on earth I'm doing?! Why am I doing this? What was I thinking.. how can I do whatever it is.
But..every single time, Sir takes my nerves and throws them out the window, making sure I'm far too busy being in the moment to have any big worries.
He is so wonderful that way! I am truly blessed.

Pygar said...

Thanks for sharing this nbs.

Yes, "... being in the moment ...". That's the pace to be!

P xx

sinister_ali said...

Sometimes I'm nervouse and sometimes I'm not but I know when, if we ever, make it to south dakota ill be really nervouse. Master J and Miztress E live there and if I ever meet them my nerves will be high. Nerves are ok if they don't overwhelm you.