It has often been said by me and by others how essential trust is in a D/s relationship. If one is to give themselves to another, to submit completely to their wishes and desires, they need to know that they can trust the other to ensure they come to no harm. That level of trust might often be found in a totally loving relationship. There is clearly strong affection between many D/s couples where that love and affection is entwined within the roles of dominance and submission.
However I recently came across a blog post where the sub was anxious that she might be developing strong feelings for her Dom. She did not want to love her Dom. That was part of her primary relationship. Her D/s relationship was just to meet certain needs. Love or even affection had no part in it. Affection for her Dom almost seemed a contradiction given that she wanted him to use her cruelly. How could he be cruel if he loved her and how could she love him if she suffered cruelty from him?
So that got me thinking about whether love is essential in a D/s relationship or is it a contradiction? Though part of me thinks it may almost be bound to grow from a D/s relationship given the trust and commitment involved.
Is love central to your relationship, irrelevant to it or a contradiction? Is it a prerequisite of a successful D/s relationship or is it inevitable it will grow from one?
The power of writing to Uncle Agony ... - I recently solved a problem without even replying! Well, to be fair the writer solved the problem all on her own. It was the writing itself that had the ef...
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