Tuesday, 12 November 2013

porn

Do you view porn? Pictures, video or text? Go on, you can tell me. I won't let anyone else know. Maybe you only view erotica. I wonder what the difference is?

I know there are readers of this blog who write erotica. And on websites like Fetlife members often post erotic or sexy (pornographic?) photographs of themselves or their partners. On my own Fetlife profile there are photographs of Inès, other friends and models. So perhaps we should no longer have any shame in saying we view such things - though there still seems to be some opprobrium from others for admitting one views porn.

Many find that erotica or porn can help their relationship, can stimulate play and enhance their imagination. I wonder though if it can also have dangers. Some porn can be quite extreme and some quite unrealistic. There are perhaps few subs who enjoy pain as much as some actresses appear to do. Does this give viewers unreal expectations? Might subs feel inadequate because they cannot submit to the extremes they see or read about? Might some Doms think they can treat their subs in the way they see on screen or read about without consequence?

So tell me. Do you view porn? Has it enhanced or damaged your relationships?


14 comments:

SweetPea said...

To be honest, I personally think it enhances mine. My partner and I both work separate shifts, so sex is not something can can happen as much as I would like it too. It also is sometimes difficult because I also have a much higher sex drive, and I really cannot accomplish the end goal without having some sort of stimulation. So it works out for us, and is another reason why we don't practice sexual restriction, because I think without it, I'd be on the verge of chopping everyone's head off.

Pygar said...

Thanks for your perspective SweatPea. I'm pleased for all our safety that it works for you and that you aren't restricted sexually! The world would be a more dangerous place ...

Good luck

P xx

Pygar said...

I've just had another thought about SweatPea's comment.

Sweatpea partly uses porn because she and her partner are on separate shifts and she has a need for sexual stimulation when they are not around. I wondered if everyone was happy with their partner using porn as a substitute for themselves when they were not around. Is that an issue for anyone?

SweetPea said...

My partner, has not voiced any issues or concerns with it. He has mentioned being jealous before, but he doesn't seem to be willing to elaborate on that, it also doesn't appear to be due to porn. That being said, I watch porn way more than he does, but if he used porn I would not be bothered by it. However I do know some women who are against it, and the reason (whether or not they admit it) seems to be they feel that the girls displayed in most porn are too .."painted" or make them feel intimidated, whether it be because of size, or level of attractiveness, there is other reasons too but that seems to be the most common. Either way, I don't tend to have jealousy issues towards the sexy porn women.

Pygar said...

It is interesting SweetPea that you find you watch way more porn than your partner. It is often assumed to be the case that men watch much more porn than women. I'm pleased that you are not "intimidated by" or feel "jealousy issues towards" the porn actresses. I can understand though how some women might feel threatened if their partner were watching them a lot if they felt they were being compared unfavourably with them.

geekie kittie said...

I have learned alot from gay porn .. seems kind of weird but it's true, especially the art of sensual message.

I hate hate hate "plastic porn" .. fake boobs, fake lips, fake acting, overacting, paying more attention to the camera then your "partner". It's just gotten so pathetic. Buying a dvd at a porn shop ... no thanks. I actually like to sure the net & hunt for porn that at least attempts to be realistic. And I am completely addicted to tumblr now. There is some really hot, sensual stuff there. My well, whatever he was, & I when emailling back & forth always sent pictures (from tumblr) to enhance/emphasis whatever dirty bits we happen to be talking about at the time.

Pygar said...

Thanks geekie kittie. How interesting that you like gay porn - and have learned from it. I wonder if men could learn from lesbian porn? My woman, Inès has previously been in two long term lesbian relationships and has mentioned lesbian porn to me. Perhaps we should watch some together!

And yes - I too have found some very interesting erotic stuff on tumblr.

ara said...

Well, I like BDSM porn. But I like to feel a connection between the players, a care and sometimes that is not visible int he "industries" porn. I rather like real than very beautiful models. I like real in body. I prefer when it is down to earth.

Vanilla porn is far less attractive to me. The pumped up boobs... all the fake like geekie kitty wrote, it is not attractive at all to watch.

But one day I witnessed footage of a woman who was clearly being used without consent. Or better she was clearly abused without consent. I was so shocked that it put me off looking at porn for quite some time. The video was removed, but I have been thinking about her feeling devastated and just hoped she could find help.

And... of course I 'perved' your fetlife profile and I loved your photo's and to my pleasant surprise I saw bush. How pretty is that! She is beautiful.

love
ara

Pygar said...

Thanks ara.

Yes it is very distressing if one comes across footage that might be real rather than simulated abuse. Also sometimes it might not be possible to distinguish the two. My intention was to focus on that in my next post.

Thank you for your kind words about my Fetlife profile and Inès. I will pass on your comments to her.

I hope readers may visit your blogs here and here which are very interesting and informative.

P xxxx

Betsy T said...

I personally love porn! My favorite is rough, dirty sex with spanking. Just typing about it gets me horny! I get most of mine from xhamster.

I know my Sir has watched bdsm and it hasn't made him force me to do anything I ultimately couldn't handle but then again, I can handle a lot :)

ara said...

Thanks for sharing my blogs! But thank You for all the interesting topics you post, I always love to read them.

Love
ara

Pygar said...

It is interesting to hear how much you love porn Betsy T - and how much you get off on it. Thank you for sharing.

Do you think that your Sir gets some ideas from bdsm porn? Although you can then handle it - do you think it could be an issue for a sub who preferred less extreme activities?

P xx

Pygar said...

Thank you for your kind words ara.

Apologies to you and Betsy T for being slow at responding but I have been away for a short break.

P xx

Pygar said...

On the next post t1klish said made an interesting comment that relates directly to this issue so I am also copying it in here...

If sex for pay is prostitution then it's definitely prostitution, and always has been. The thing is, it's so important for viewers to remember that these people are paid actors, and considering how extreme porn is these days, they are paid actors/stuntpersons. That so many men these days expect non-actress/non-stunt women to perform these acts is really becoming a problem. It's freaky being single these days when men think there's no such thing as a heterosexual woman and that all women squirt and want to be pounded and strangled during sex, and if you don't, they think you're boring in bed.