humiliating

I have written some time ago about humiliation.

It is not something that I am particularly in to. In fact I perceive a contradiction between  respecting someone and accepting their trust and then humiliating them. There is a kind of mental cruelty that it is against my nature to dole out.

On reflection though that seems strange when I am happy to bind, beat and use my woman. Is that not also a humiliation?

Do other Doms have similar feelings? Do subs who are into humiliation find it harder to get their Dom to humiliate them than to dominate them in other ways?

Or perhaps it is just me!

a sore bottom

I am sure that most 'Agony Aunts' mget questions about people having bits that are sore. However Uncle Agony got an email from LL complaining that her bottom was not sore. You can read it here. If you have any suggestions for her please do respond there.

I was wondering though dear subbies. Would you be secretly very pleased if your bottom became numb so that you didn't feel as much pain when being spanked - or like LL, do you want to feel the full effect of every stroke?

Being Dominant

Discussing learning about dominance here and here I found myself thinking again about the concept of dominance - and 'domliness' if there is such a thing.

I was wondering whether the usual image of it in a person may be quite wide of the mark. That may be why so many 'pretend' or 'wannabe' doms just don't quite manage it. They perhaps invest too much on the outward trappings without having the inner qualities.

Some Doms may have all the alpha qualities that perhaps fit the image of a powerful, dominant, controlling personality. I don't think they are necessary though. Other doms may be quiet, unassuming, friendly, kind, almost reticent - yet somehow they always seem toget their way, to be in control, often without one even noticing it.

Is that not also dominance?

Learning about dominance

How does one learn about dominance? Is it something that one just knows, that is part of one's very being, or is it rather something to be taught and learned? What about the ethical dimension? Are there things a dominant needs to learn before he can safely take control of a submissive?

These thoughts came to the fore when reading a recent email addressed to Uncle Agony. You can read the full exchange here.