Thursday, 20 February 2014

changed

Diving into submission, being immersed in the delights of it, giving yourself over totally to the use of another ... it is a heady and extreme experience.

It can be life-changing.

How changed are you? Do you delight in those changes? Are they all positive? Do you ever miss the old you?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello, Kind Dom :)

I'm a 21 year old girl who found the charted path to submission a few months ago. I've always been a submissive girl when it comes to the kink sphere, but had never acknowledged or even paid heed to it. That had lead to quite a few avoidable misunderstandings and frictions. I had the grace of receiving the lessons and spirit of the Dominance/submission dynamic from a very very kind Dom on the internet. It has been life-altering to say the least. So much of happiness and peace is spread. I accept the submission with full knowledge that the real "me" has been finally unlocked and given a voice. I don't feel guilty or an anomaly when I sit at my guy's feet or kiss his feet. I feel my orgasms a hundred times more satisfying with the knowledge that I'm nothing but my guy's treasured little submissive.My anxiety has been resolved, I feel safe.

Do I miss the old me? Not a bit. I've become more confident in my daily life, the strength of my submission shows through with confidence.This was my calling, is my calling and will always be. Embracing it has been nothing short of extremely beautiful.

Thanks to the invisible blogland people as well :) Special thanks to Kind Dom for giving me the space to just rant off my head !

Pygar said...

Thank you Anonymous. You are welcome to "rant off your head" on here whenever you wish. I am pleased you have found your calling and gained confidence and strength. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

- P xx

lil said...

I feel like i have changed quite a bit. Though I suppose as one looks back in time, it kind of fades and who I am feels like who I always was (sorry if that makes no sense whatsoever). I'm not really sure who I was before, so there's not a whole lot to miss.
M/s makes me a better person. He makes me a better person.

If there was one change that I find to not always be positive, it is being so reliant on him when I have to make decisions.
I'm still perfectly capable of making good decisions on my own, and have held jobs where I had lots of management responsibilities (work does somehow seem different though) it is just extremely stressful for me if I can't get his opinion. And I didn't always feel that way.

Anna May said...

For me it has been very difficult to make peace with even admitting I am submissive.

Growing up in a single household with a strong headed mother who had ingrained in my head the importance of not needing ANYONE! To not show feelings, to not show fear, to be tough even when one is defeated...was/is my mothers moto and has been thoroughly tattooed in my head.

To say the least, everyday is a struggle in letting go the preconceived idea of what it truly means to be a strong woman. It is hard admitting you want/need to be controlled, want/need to let go, want/need to be cared for, when you have been told all your life that to want/need all of said above is admitting weakness.

The upside to admitting my submissive nature has been freeing in many ways, it has been comforting, and when I am not battling with the demons it gives me such content, and knowing my Dom values my true nature is utterly amazing.

Missus Whore said...

The journey through life for anyone can be and often is at times difficult.

We all change, we all grow. To not do so is to stagnate and that is death. We are self aware creatures and as such we cannot help but change as we go through life.

That being said, the way you've worded your last query makes me chuckle.

In brief, I've always been a submissive personality. I was brought up to be independent and I learned as a young child if something was to be done, I had to do it. (My parents were rather neglectful, I'm talking basics, like eating. If my brother and I were going to eat, I had to find and produce the food.) This instilled in me a horrific sense of misplaced responsibility and I've struggled with it all my adult life. But my first instinct in all things is to seek answers. Seek permission. Seek guidance. I wanted it all so bad I allowed myself to be abused with it through my late teens and all of my twenties.

Then, a bit older and just a smidge wiser, I found my way out of the dark pit that was my life and in that leg of my journey I found words for what I felt. I found others like me, who could relate their experiences, I found similarities. That helped me start to find myself again.

At the end of my first marriage, the last three years or so, I cannot tell you how often I thought 'what happened to the girl that got married? Where has she gone? Why am I this woman instead of that girl?' I don't know how many times I said it out loud, in different ways. I think the thing I said most often was 'I used to laugh a lot more.'

When I crawled over the lip of the pit and found the sun again I found bits of that girl again. She's gone, and I'll never be her again, but I have pieces of her back.

I missed the old me before. I found her, and I took the bits of her I truly did miss, and left the things I don't need or don't want. I found the wonder in the world again, the beauty, the discovery. I still have some of the fear and some of misplaced responsibility but that never left me.

I've found a measure of peace within myself. I still struggle, like everyone does, but I no longer feel like a broken and discarded toy, or an aborted ideal. I no longer feel lost, or like I'm searching for something without really knowing what it is I'm looking for.

I feel... more freedom than I thought possible.

I hold no illusions that this journey is a straight and clear one from here on out. I'm sure there are going to be all kinds of delightful surprises along the way (along with just as many horrific ones,) but I feel braver walking my path. I feel safe stepping into the darkened places, or those so brilliant they are blinding. I am not alone, and even without Daddy I will never be alone.

nilla said...

Pygar...I was just thinking about this topic last night! (my work is very mundane and leads to lots of introspection). I *like* who I am now. I'm not saying I would never have reached this level of confidence on my own, but I feel like I've grown exponentially over these last 4 years as a submissive. My Master guides with a light hand, but with deep knowledge of who I am, what my committments outside of our D/s space are, and what I'm capable of. We don't live together but are close, communicating daily. I LIKE who I am now. Confident. Brave. Strong. Willing to stand up for myself if need be and speak honestly all the time, and not give into "polite wrangling". I don't think i could ever go back to the nervous wishy-washy person I was before ...and I don't want to! Living is growing, and growing wiser should be part of growing older (why else wrinkles??!! :))

nilla

Pygar said...

Thank you very much lil, Anna May, Missus Whore and nilla. I have just come in with Inès. We have both been blown away by your wonderful and strong comments. I have always said that the quality of this blog is the strength of its comments. Thank you for helping to illustrate this.

I will try to respond properly tomorrow.

Again - many thanks

P xx

His slut said...

I have definitely changed. I'm more positive. My sensitivity level has decreased. I've learned to let someone help me.

In the professional world I've gained more confidence. I've embraced my ability to adapt and learn. I'm no longer hiding my strengths. If my coworker can't handle it, that is not my issue. I've come to realize that my strength actually helps strengthen my weakness. Until submission, I've never seen it nor embraced it.

Submission is making me want to do be pleasurable in all areas of my life. It's teaching me patience and how to breath.

I don't miss the old me. The old me was a doormat too many, as I'm a pleaser. Submission has taught me the difference. It has taught me to believe in myself. I'm worth it!

Blogland had really helped me. The patience, guidance, and care from Sir drives out all. Because of Him I have this new freedom to no longer live inside myself. I truly can tell Him my biggest fear, my greatest pleasure, and my darkest thoughts. He extracts them, explores them, and lifts all boundaries that society has placed. It's awesome!

Pygar said...

Thank you too His slut. Another really interesting and positive response to my queries.

- P xx

Pygar said...

It has been fascinating reading the wonderful comments by Anonymous,lil, Anna May, Missus Whore, nilla and His slut.

They have each written so very personally, powerfully and positively about their submission. None miss the old pre-sub version of themselves. On the contrary they all embrace their submissive selves as strong and confident people.

Confidence is a recurring theme as is strength. All seem to delight in the changes that have come from embracing submission, finding all those changes positive.

So thank you again for those great responses.

Is there nobody who misses anything from their time before submission?

Have Doms noticed all the changes in their submissive partners to be positive?

- P xx

mc kitten said...

I have changed in some ways - I am more content, more mentally stable, calmer, just all over happier. I've rediscovered my joyful and carefree nature.

How much of this is down to more conscious awareness and practice of my submission and how much is to do with just being older and solving certain health issues and having happier life circumstances, I don't know.

I look back and see that I've changed, but my initial reaction to the question was to say I haven't changed at all, I've just been able to become more me, more completely me, more perfectly ME.

If you see what I mean!

Partly by hidden, less understood sides of me being able to come out and become acknowledged I suppose.

little monkey said...

For me it was more of a coming into who I am supposed to be than leaving anything else behind.

and I asked, and my Dom said "I think you have had many positive changes and nothing negative as far as I can see".

Pygar said...

Thank you mckitten and little monkey. How interesting. There seems to be a commonality in your responses - in that although you have changed you each see it as a growth into an essential or real "you" rather than changing into someone else.

Fascinating.

Thank you both

P xx