Perhaps it is all a mater of style.
I was thinking about this initially because of a question I was asked about brattiness by libby which I answered here. I have written previously specifically about brattiness and you can read my thoughts here and here. However on this occasion I found myself comparing styles of submission. There are those who like to be forced into submission. This is not exclusive to those who describe themselves as brats or who are into brattish styles of behaviour. There are others who enjoy the experience of being forced, who like to have their will challenged and broken, who like the element of fight before they are overpowered, who enjoy a battle of wills and seeing their own controlling instincts broken down. Some just like to be broken.
I am not sure though that I am the kind of Dom who enjoys this fight. Don't get me wrong - I do like strong women. Most of my subs have been strong and powerful women in their own way and often very controlling themselves in their instincts. However I do not want constant battles.
Rather than being forced into submitting to my desires I want them instead to plead to be allowed to try to meet them. I love a sub who learns to plead prettily to meet my needs and does so eagerly with enthusiasm.
Is this just a matter of style or is it a more fundamental difference?
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No, I am not a health expert or a scientific expert. So I will not try to
offer you any of my own advice. Instead I am going to shamelessly pinch
from Fetl...
4 years ago
12 comments:
I really like this question! It is perhaps very difficult to answer in a comment, but I will do my best :)
I, by nature, am a very strong woman. I am independent, capable, intelligent. I am intuitive and able to reason in addition to emotions. I remember being young, unsure of myself. My mom was that way, and a single parent as well. I remember "deciding" to be strong. I remember being determined to be independent and not let fear steer my life. I set about to be that woman, and have done well to care for myself, and subsequently my children.
When I "discovered" I was a slave, it was enlightening to me. All my "itches" were scratched. I felt true contentment in my deepest places.I also happen to be in love with my Master, so that adds another lovely dimension. I have a heart to want to please him, to submit to him, make myself lower than him. I have a desire to do this that runs very deep. however...sometimes something rises up in me that fights that. I always equate it to the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. I do sometimes want my way to be done, my needs to be met first, my my my. It may appear to be bratty or bucking the system, but really, often I don't know where it comes from. In those infrequent incidences, it seems right to have some force to re-align the mind and body. It feels right. It feels the way to "fix" the separation between the two. I don't want to appear that I am always searching for a loophole,or that I am challenging Master. But, a little force does the slave good. Thanks for such a great question! petals
This is really interesting and what I always manage to do in order to get punished.. But some; like yourself, are pushed away.
I read your other links and it mentioned "pleading nicely to be spanked"... I guess it would be a nicer, more specifically, submisaove way of behaving... I like the force and anger in him that incites fear in me... (shaking and murmuring fear)
I guess I like the adrenaline?
but how you said "ppolitely asking for a spanking"... It doesnt really work (in my psyche) as I like struggling and saying "no","please stop!", "get off me!", and he goes against my wishes and does it anyway... Thats a turn on - huge, like even writing this... Anyway..
Thats where my bratiness stems from... Asking for the punishment, it would be predictable and no fear there...
Does anyone understand what I'm saying?
or maybe I'm not submissive after all?
just purely after punishments... Masochistic... Because I dont really have a desire to serve anyone... But I like feeling underneath someone... And putting them above me...
Really interesting topic that I cab really relate to...
From Lauren! :)
xx
Thanks Petals MJ. It is interesting to read about the part of you who decided to be strong battling with the side of you that discovered she was a slave! And yes, I do understand that need to be forced, to have a Master to kep you in line.
I know my Inès feels ahe has that same need.
Good luck
P xx
Thank you too Lauren.
I must admit that having Inès ask politely for a spanking is certainly a work in progress! Perhaps it is what is sometimes regarded as "training" and helps while away the dark winter evenings. Though we are in to summer already and still not there. You have reminded me. More training tonight perhaps ...
;)
Though more seriously, if one is serious about being a submissive should one not be aiming for that point where the bratiness was totally self controlled?
P xx
If the feeling of being submissive is what is sought then perhaps being forced into that state is what makes it most apparent. On the flip side, exercising your dominance over a sub would surely feel more real if you at first encounter some resistance to your will and have to overcome it? I have on occasion felt that petals will deliberately throw down a challenge and looks for the dom in me to sort it out. Sometimes it all seems like an elaborate game. Definitely has a fun side to it all.
Thanks Petals Master.
I'm all for having fun! I don't like to think I am being deliberately tested but yes, I guess you are right - the aspect of having completed a challenging task in having a woman submit is very fulfilling. I like strong women not doormats - so yes, I guess I too like the challenge.
Thanks for adding to the discussion
Good luck
P
That is what is making me rethink my aubmissiveness... Maybe I'm not searching for dominance, but sadism...
Or fear, or adrenaline, or an escape from reality, or the feeling of losing control for once in my life... But not submissive perhaps, but just a switch of roles? A release?
dunno. That will get me thinking
you have fun with your inés... No matter what I'm sure she will like the spanking... I'm sure I would Sir... Hehe :P
you have a wonderful night (or morning) whatever it is in the UK :)
from Lauren
xx :)
I think Lauren with more experience of different scenarios and Doms you will discover exactly what it is you are seeking - or this may evolve from a relationship. Don't get too hung up on definitions and terminology. Just explore your desires. Good luck on your exciting journey.
Thank you for your kind wishes
P xx
As Lauren said, I'm more interested in a Sadist.
I am and have always been submissive but in the last year I've found my masochistic self to be very much there.
Sir allows me a great deal of freedom .. I'm not bratty but strong. He always asks for my thoughts and I know he is truly interested.
I've asked him for one thing or another..but generally Sir knows what I want.. or he wants what he wants and of course, gets it.
I do like the feeling of being forced and the battle between us.. but it is more a struggle.. not a fight. Slight difference but still important.
Thank you for the thought provoking post!
Thank you too nbs for the thought provoking response!
I think your enjoyment of being forced is something that others will find an affinity with. And yes - it is enjoyable also to exert force and have ones wishes fulfilled.
So yes - perhaps there are lots and lots of styles which may often develop and change. Perhaps it is for each of us to discover and enjoy our own.
Thanks again
P xx
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