Thursday, 15 May 2014

psychological and emotional... or just physical?

I was talking with someone last week who said he had been into masochism and now was into sadism and masochism. However he wasn't into submission or dominance. That side didn't interest him - it was purely the physical aspect that he was there for.  The same evening someone else said to me in relation to D/s and BDSM, "It's all just about sex, isn't it?"

On the post below nbs commented, "... I've found myself much less submissive and more masochistic." So is she too finding she is mostly into the physical aspect?

So how important is the physical aspect to you? If you had to chose between the psychological relationship or the physical one, which would you chose?

11 comments:

tori said...

Psychological wins out for me, no contest at all.

And i would definitely disagree that D/s and BDSM is all about the sex, bdsm yes i would concede but the D/s no, but thats my opinion.

BDSM does play a big part in my relationship, as does kink in general but i dont consider these the most important aspects.

But i think bdsm is also psychological as well as being physical, especially when in engaging in it with someone you have a relationship with, the trust, the initimacy, the mind fucks.

But ultimately as much as i enjoy all the physical aspects, i would give it all up just so long as i could have his control/dominance.

x

little monkey said...

The physical is important, but for me the psychological relationship is THE thing. I love the physical, I am a pain slut. Without the mental D/s dynamic the physical is empty for me.

Soume Stalked said...

Psychological and emotional win out over physical - no contest really.

The thing that makes the physical so hot is the mindfuck of it. Is he going to keep doing it? When is he going to stop? How many more? Can I survive this?

Fury

Pygar said...

Thank you tori, little monkey and Fury.

Well, that seems to be three - nil to psychological over physical!

However for each of you the physical is important but it is perhaps the psychological that makes the physical work. So perhaps in the end they are intrinsically linked. as each of you say ...
"... the trust, the initimacy, the mind fucks." - tori
"Without the mental D/s dynamic the physical is empty for me." - little monkey
"The thing that makes the physical so hot is the mindfuck of it" - Fury

Thanks very much to each of you.

But come on - there must be someone out there who is just into the physical aspect of it. Or are tori, little monkey and Fury saying it for us all, that there needs to be a psychological element to make the physical aspect work?

- P xx

nbs said...

Certainly I never meant to say or imply that the mental /psychological was not a very important part of my relationship with Sir.
I'm still submissive; I could not do anything with Sir unless he was the dominant to my submissive.
I have to say I misspoke in my reply to your post!
I've just been surprised at how I've changed in the past four years.

Pygar said...

I did take your brief comment out of context nbs and apologise if it seemed I was misrepresenting your views. I'm pleased you have taken the time to set the record straight.

So I still can't find anyone who says they are mainly interested in the physical side ...

Thanks for commenting again

P xx

Domina Kat said...

I have to echo everyone else's thoughts. The emotional/mental is what leads the way in our relationship. Without our foundation of trust, without the profound respect and love I have for Him...well...there's no way in hell I'd let Him do what He does to me. If some guy even tried, I'd kick His ass. lol

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE all the naughty, cruel, sadistic things He does. But if He fell ill, if I fell ill, if for whatever reason we could never again engage in the physical...He would absolutely still hold my leash, and I would still curl up at His feet.

And I hate to point this out...but those "surface players" who put the emphasis on the physical/sexual side...they probably aren't reading your blog posts. lol They're too busy browsing K&P on Fet or the personals on CollarMe.

Pygar said...

Thanks Kat. I think we have unanimity!

I loved your final comment,"...but those "surface players" who put the emphasis on the physical/sexual side...they probably aren't reading your blog posts. lol They're too busy browsing K&P on Fet or the personals on CollarMe.

We clearly get the crème de la crème on here!

Right - I'm off to browse personals on CollarMe ... !

Have fun

P xx

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm...it's because of the psycological that I crave the physical...&for me I need the emotional connection for the physical to be a turn on..he needs to show love and strength in the small ways...&I need to respond. ..for the physical aspects to take me where my heart&body want to go.

River Wild said...

psychological wins this one!

Pygar said...

Two more votes for psychological from Anonymous and River Wild. Thank you to you both.

I guess, as Anonymous wrote, "... it's because of the psycological that I crave the physical...&for me I need the emotional connection for the physical to be a turn on ..."

Well put!

I've been searching though for examples of the physical coming to the fore. I may post about it tomorrow so look out!

P xx