Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Festive Greetings

Seasonal greetings to all my readers.

Wishing you all peace and happiness.

Friday, 20 December 2013

The ultimate conclusion of masochism ...

A recent comment by Pet about submission and masochism stimulated some thoughts that I explored in posts here and here.

However, I have given a fuller response to Pet's question as an Uncle Agony post here. Do visit and comment if you have thoughts - perhaps especially in relation to masochism and self-harm.

Thursday, 12 December 2013


There was an interesting discussion in response to my previous post on submission and masochism.

Some who responded felt that they were inextricably linked but for others they were clearly separate. Whether linked or separate I have been wondering about masochism and the desire to accept pain.

Why might one have a desire to accept pain? Pain is supposed to be a safety mechanism of the body to steer us away from danger.

Pain is not meant to be desirable. If it were then that would defeat its purpose in keeping us safe. So why do some desire it?

I think that some submissives may desire pain as part of their submissive relationship to show how deeply they submit. It gives a measure of how much they are prepared to accept in showing how much they will take to please their Master and to accept the primacy of his desires.

Others just like to test and push themselves. This may be part of a submissive relationship but can also be outside it. It may not form part of a relationship at all. In the gym there are those who want to work harder, faster, longer to really push themselves. They want to lift and pull and push heavier and heavier weights and restraints. In this they are trying to defeat pain to achieve their goals.

There are those who do it just for the endorphin rush. The body creates natural drugs to anaesthetise the body to help one cope with pain. Pain has been used in this way for millennia in many different cultures to reach heightened states of consciousness. In a BDSM context it is often referred to as sub-space.

This has too implications for the skills of the Dominant. Perhaps in this context he needs to be a sadist to enjoy administering pain. However he needs more than that. It needs a real understanding of the these issues and of the needs of his submissive. But if he is thinking of the needs of his sub then perhaps he is not being sadistic after all!

Do you ever desire pain? Is it for one of the reasons I have suggested? Are there other reasons I have missed?

What about Dominants and sadists? Are you aware of the needs of your submissive in relation to pain? Does that matter?

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

submission and masochism

I have just had a new comment from Pet to an earlier post on submission, pain and masochism here. In it she discusses the distinction between submission and masochism.

I will respond directly to her comment soon on Uncle Agony but I wondered in more general terms whether submission was a kind of masochism?

Yes - I know that there is a clear distinction between the desire to submit and the kind of imperative that drives masochists to seek pain. However, might there be a kind of masochism inherent in the desire to submit?