Friday, 27 March 2009

while I am away ...

I am going away ~ soon ~ for a few days salacious fun with a deeply sensual and desirable submissive woman.

I am sure my energies and thoughts will be directed at her and that could leave me with little time to write here.

So in the meantime I wonder if you can help me dear readers? I am thinking of starting yet another blog - not to replace the Pygar blog but in addition to it. I am unsure if this is a good idea as I have more than enough blogs already. Also I may have a little less uninterrupted time at the computer soon. However if there is enough interest in it and I can organise it without too much trouble then I may give it a go.

Since writing Pygar I have received a number of letters from subs asking me for advice about personal and relationship problems. I have no particular expertise in this area but I have always tried to respond honestly and kindly usually stressing the importance of communications. It has often struck me though that there are others who read my blog and comment who have more experience and wisdom than me. I wondered what advice they might have given.

So my idea is that subs or Doms with a D/s relationship issues or personal problems could write to Pygar - or I may set up a separate email address. Pygar would then publish the letter anonymously on the new blog, possibly comment himself and invite comments from readers. I would moderate the comments to ensure nothing deliberately hurtful or abusive was written.

In the UK magazines often have problem pages where people share personal problems and an "agony aunt" gives advice. So I have come up with the title - "Uncle Agony" - which fits with the D/s theme! I have even designed a template to get it started quickly if I decide to go ahead.

However there is only any point if people write in with their problems and if others are kind enough to offer honest advice. So what do you think dear readers? Is it worth a try?

I would be very grateful for your advice or other thoughts on the idea.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

on being a slut

I called her "my slut" often. She revelled in it. She delighted in having rediscovered her sensuality and a powerful sexual desire. It had not always been like this. At the start she made it clear she did not want to be called a "slut" or a "whore". She was neither of these things. She could not understand how being addressed in this way would support her journey into submission.

But her submission made her wet. It filled her with desire. She cried out for release. She wanted release over and over. She started to call herself a slut. My slut. She became proud to be my slut.

She and I knew that this word is used as a term of abuse often by men but also often by other women towards a woman because of her active sexuality. If a man has several partners then other men are jealous. It is seen as a sign of virility. It can be regarded as a positive characteristic. Women are often drawn to such men rather than being repelled by their behaviour. Their sexual virility is in itself alluring. However if a woman has several partners, flaunts her sexuality or dresses in a sexually provocative manner this is often seen negatively by society and condemned. The word "slut" is then often used as a term of abuse against such women. In "real life", outside of the special D/s world we shared, I would never call anyone a slut. It is a horrible word in that context and not one that it would occur to me ever to use. However it is all a matter of context and understanding.

So when I called her my slut that was in the context of our relationship. Out in the day to day world of her profession and her friends she was a slightly cool and reserved woman. Nobody would have called her a slut.

In real life she would never have been called a slut but I noticed her beginning to loosen a little and enjoying expressing a little more slight intimacy and contact and becoming pleased by the results. But in our relationship we were inhabiting a special private place where we could be things that society might not like and that we might not dream of being out in that real world.

In our special place I wanted her to be a wanton woman who could be as sexually open and active as she desired with no expectations of society to hold her back. I wanted her to want sex with her Master, to crave it, to crave his sexual pleasure too. I wanted her to be totally uninhibited about it. So if I called her a slut we had turned the value judgement part of the meaning of the word around. It was no longer a term of abuse because in the relationship we had created to be wanton and sexually active was a positive trait not a negative one. So being a slut became an expression of praise rather than admonishment. I wanted her to be my slut. That was part of her purpose in the world we had created. If it gave her an additional frisson because it was something "forbidden" that she was doing, that she had found a safe place to be "bad", then all to the good. Sometimes using the word "slut" can heighten that sense.

So she was my slut. I had perhaps helped to create that slut. We both had fun with her being my slut.

But just recently another friend called herself a slut - though I thought with some reservation - as if she was worried she should feel some shame about a recent sexual adventure. I hope she can reclaim the word "slut" as a positive characteristic - as a woman who is confident about her sexuality and is prepared to have fun in the ways that she wants as long as she hurts nobody else.

Monday, 23 March 2009

beautiful women

Thank you to all who responded with such kind comments to the previous post.

I wonder if the subs who commented, with the permission of course of their Masters, might carry out this task for me. (Sorry to leave you out Tristan - perhaps you might like to instruct pet do do it!) Any other subs who feel like giving it a try are welcome to join in!

Look into the mirror and say all together . . .

one . . .

two . . .

three . . .

"I am a beautiful woman."

Well done. Thank you.

Good girls.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

a beautiful woman

I had undressed her. She was standing naked before me. She looked embarrassed and had her head down. I made her lift her head proudly.

"You are a beautiful woman. What are you?"

"I am a beautiful woman Sir," she replied nervously, unconvinced.

Soon she was looking down again so this was repeated.

Later we were snuggled in bed together naked and happy.

I looked into her bright and sparkling eyes.

"What are you?"

"I am your beautiful woman."

The smile on her face as she spoke was the most beautiful you can imagine. I can see it still.

Tuesday, 17 March 2009


For lili ...

I placed a cushion by my feet and asked her to kneel for me.

She had knelt for me many times before. However I had never been there when she had done so. My instructions to her had been through emails.

Now she was kneeling in front of me for the very first time.

At my instruction she had fetched something that she used to wear as a symbol of her submission to me. I attached it to her. She was mine again.

I took her hand. I held it firmly in one hand and stroked it gently with the other.

I felt happy and at peace with her there before me. I felt a sense of power and a gentle warm glow.

I had imagined this scene for so long. It was different from in my imagination - but so wonderful for its reality.

I desired her so much.

I talked of complications and issues for us both. She understood all that as well as I.

I stroked her hand.

I wanted her.

I hoped she wanted me too.

At last.


Before me.

Such a precious gift.

Thank you.
- P xx

Sunday, 15 March 2009


I have written about trust often before - as have others in their comments. About how important it is in any relationship - but most especially in a D/s relationship.

It is so hard to build. It takes honesty and openness from both sides. Once built it is very precious. However it is also very fragile.

It just slipped from my fingers for a moment when I wasn't holding it carefully enough. It is so easy to damage. I hope it is just cracked and can be mended with care and effort. I promise to try hard to do so. I will be desolate if it is broken.

Monday, 9 March 2009


A previous sub of mine once wrote on her blog that begging was a hard limit. She was a wonderfully obedient sub - whilst in other contexts she can be a very assertive woman. Letting go of that assertiveness enough to be able to beg though was something she could not and had no desire to be able to do.

Recently I have had an email exchange with another sub friend about begging and pleading. She feels it is an attempt to get someone to do something against their inclination - perhaps topping from the bottom. But it is clearly ingrained in her nature too as something she would find very hard to do.

I wonder though if begging could be at the heart of total and complete submission. When one has given up all power then begging is all one has left.

Also begging is seen as a humiliating and demeaning activity. Maybe that is why some subs like it but others hate it.

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

needs and desires

In conversations with sub friends, the experience of having had their submissive needs awakened has been mentioned several times. I have often wondered in what sense these are needs - or whether they are just strong desires. However I am not a sub so cannot speak from first-hand experience.

In comments to my previous post released there was agreement from a few commenters that to put submission "back in the box" once it had been awakened might be impossible. I was interested in this in relation to the points I have just made so I suggested that a sub blogger might like to follow it up.

Well - little did I realise what that would stimulate. Selkie has followed it up with a thorough, thoughtful, well argued and thought provoking series of posts. There are four in total. The final one is here and has links to the previous three. Do pop over and have a read. I am interested in others responses from their own personal perspectives.

Thank you Selkie.