Monday, 28 November 2011

erotica and porn

Chatting with a friend the other day she said that she could deep-throat and often enjoyed it. However she hated it when a man held her head and forced himself into her mouth.

I wondered if the easy availability of so much porn with this kind of activity has made some men believe that behaviour like this is acceptable without having gained consent. Has porn made too many men confuse the line between fantasy and reality?

This is even more the case in BDSM. There is so much porn available of women being seriously hurt and appearing to enjoy it and get off on it. It is of course fantasy but is presented as reality. Yes there are many subs who can get off on pain in certain circumstances but as with vanilla porn what appears in videos is very different from what goes on in most peoples bedrooms.

I am worried that in a BDSM context it could cause inexperienced Doms to have inappropriate expectations that could put their subs at risk.

In terms of presenting unrealistic fantasy I am guilty of that myself. Some of my fantasies have appeared in writing in my Beau blog and the Dragonfly Geisha blog as well as elsewhere. They are fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that - unless of course readers expect real life to be like that. Then it can get dangerous.

Have any readers had experience of unrealistic expectations possibly caused by porn? Do any of you have views about the good and bad use of pornography?

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing all readers from the other side of the Atlantic a very Happy Thanksgiving.

If any of you are still unsure about how to prepare the turkey I have published a video of a novel approach on my Beau blog here. Have fun!

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

and ...

... thank you also to Southern Sir who nominated my Uncle Agony blog for a VBA. Much appreciated.

more thanks (and an apology)

I had not noticed that at least two other bloggers had also nominated me for a VBA award. They were Sky and Sweet girl.

Again thank you very much to you both for your kindness. Please accept my apologies from missing you out on the previous post.

P xx

Monday, 21 November 2011

Thank you to thesubmissivebf and to subrosanomore for nominating me for the VBA (versatile blogger award.) You are very kind and it is appreciated.

More soon.


Thursday, 17 November 2011


The desires expressed in comments to my previous post by subs - for Doms with at least a degree of wickedness, if not downright evil, reminded me of some posts written several years ago. There I bemoaned the fact that it was the bad guy who always seemed to get the girl.

If you missed them then do look back here, here and here.

Monday, 14 November 2011

kind or evil ... or a little bit of both?

In the comments to my last post Shadow described himself as an evil Dom. I wondered whether subs would be attracted more to an evil Dom than a kind one. Shadow felt that the evil Dom definitely had an advantage. Anna also recognised the appeal of a evil dom.

I am sure there may be times when I have a glint in my eye when I may play the part of the evil Dom - but deep down I hope I cannot be truly evil but instead my kindness will ensure my subs know they are safe.

However I do wonder whether many subs secretly crave the danger of an evil Dom and whether or not it is important to know if they scratch the surface that there is some care and kindness there also.

Monday, 7 November 2011

a "bit of fun"

blossom has recent published a post here asking readers to say what kind of 'slut' they are. So far readers have suggested ideas such as "faithful slut", "submisive slut" and "obedient slut".

It got me thinking about applying the same idea to Doms when I recollected I called this blog "a kind Dom". After my first meeting with a sub friend she described me as "a sensual Dom". I rather liked that and have used it since.

So I wonder if other Doms have a characteristic they use to describe themselves or whether subs have a word they would use to describe their Dom.

So I am "a kind Dom" or "a sensual Dom". What about others?

Friday, 4 November 2011

The Light in Things

A good online friend kirana has started a new blog here. I hope it may shine a ray of light for us.

Do pop in and say hello.