Thursday, 26 January 2017

feminist porn

A couple of weeks ago I discussed ethical porn. I wondered how this might connect with feminist porn. Again - just Google it. Or check out for instance for an example.

I thought there must be a connection with ethical porn because of course a feminist perspective would put an emphasis on the rights and protection of women working in the industry. They of course do this but they - and other sites - try to also promote porn that might be more attractive to women. However that can often imply a lack of control and force which may exclude BDSM scenes. To be honest - some can be quite bland. Though not all.

There are many performers and producers in the BDSM field who are strong women and may describe themselves as feminists. They do not feel the need to be part of a niche. There are many such women perhaps performing and directing for There is a UK spanking site that claims to be feminist that some might like to check out - Pandora Blake.

This got me thinking about some other sites that may be both ethical and feminist because they claim that the performers have often self submitted and also because of the style.

For instance Beautiful Agony which just shows the faces of women, and sometimes men, bringing themselves to orgasm. The success of this led to IFeelMyself which developed the theme and started to show nudity and, later, partners.

In researching this post I came across another site that I found very erotic. It is not visually explicit in any way but shows a woman sitting fully clothed at a desk reading from a book. Hidden below the table is someone using a vibrator on them. They are challenged to continue reading until...

I felt there was a BDSM aspect to that site as there was a level of control. The women had been instructed to read a book. She was doing her best to comply with that instruction whilst someone else was arousing her and she was instructed not to prevent that. BDSM doesn't all have to be about ropes and whips. It can be about control and eroticism.

So what is erotic? There is so much explicit porn that is often repeated over and again so that it ceases to be erotic. Perhaps in porn also less can be more?

I have not addressed gay porn so I will leave questions...
- Is lesbian porn necessarily ethical and feminist?
- I have not watched much gay male porn as it is not a strong interest - but can male performers be abused in the same way as women?

Though perhaps my overall question is what is erotic in porn? And can feminist porn be erotic?

Thursday, 19 January 2017

porn and young people

Last week we had an interesting discussion about ethical porn. But however ethical that porn may be I wonder about its effect on young people.

I guess porn may have become the main sex education influence on many young people. There are lots of reports that children now become introduced to porn on the internet at a young age. When we watch BDSM porn we understand its context. However much porn has now taken on many of the aspects of BDSM and not in a good way. Gangbangs, choking oral sex, hard spanks including face slapping, forceful anal sex and much more is represented as mainstream. Force and lack of respect for the woman is seen as normal.

I do not feel that this is a good way for boys and girls to learn about sex. Boys may think that it is normal to treat girls disrespectfully and forcefully. Girls  may believe that this is what they have to accept.

There is another movement in porn sites as well as ethical porn - and that is feminist porn. Again Googling will bring up a number of sites. The whole notion of this is anathema in some feminist circles. I wonder too if it may sometimes be somewhat bland.

So is there an answer to this? Can we have a quality of sex education that helps young people have a more balanced view of sex and relationships? Is feminist porn an answer to this and the ethical porn issue? Or as in many aspects of society do we just have to recognise and accept that the internet is as much a negative force as a positive one?

Thursday, 12 January 2017

ethical porn

Do you watch porn on the internet?

No need to answer if you prefer not but I wanted to discuss an issue about BDSM porn. It is really an isue about how one can be sure of the level of consent when one watches BDSM video clips.

I have seen a couple of sites recently that are recommending ethical porn sites. There are a number of them so rather than me typing them here you could just Google "list of ethical porn sites". Interestingly several of them list as an ethical site. It seems there are good reports from actors working for them and they have got a good reputation. This is very pleasing given that there is some quite strong stuff in there. A much older, and now quite notorious competitor, insex though closed down because of very negative reports from actors. There is a Hungarian site where there were even arrests I understand.

So if you do watch BDSM porn, please make sure you are watching performers who are acting and even enjoying their work rather than being abused.

Soon that will no longer be a problem for me as it is likely that such sites will all soon be banned in the UK. The Digital Economy Bill is likely to come into force soon.

Thursday, 5 January 2017


SwitchingFun posted a very interesting blog post in November about Primal play. Do read it here.

It is very interesting as well as being informative and offering good advice. It is not something I have been involved in but I have noticed others who say they are into Primal play. It looks as if it could be exciting and fun... though it also appears to have potential dangers. I suppose with all BDSM play the important aspect is to be aware of risks so as to minimise them as much as possible.

Although Switching Fun writes that it is not necessarily rough I have got the feeling that for many who like this kind of play it can be very rough. I wonder too if in the excitement and action of this kind of play whether it might be too easy to miss a safe word or for things to get a little out of control. Could it be a place where abusers could operate? There are also others - I am thinking in particular of the profile of a friend on Fetlife - for whom Primal is about extreme experiences and a more care-free approach. Perhaps being abused becomes almost part of that. Maybe the whole point is to no longer feel safe.

Perhaps I am just too cautious!

Have any other readers been involved in this kind of play? Is it what you are into? Is is something you would like to try?

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Happy New Year

Wishing a very happy New Year to all readers of this blog.

Whatever your kink I hope that 2017 provides lots of opportunities for exploring your desires and finding fulfillment in great relationships. Have fun - and be kind to each other!

P xx