Thursday, 24 November 2016

coming soon...

First an apology...

I had a new post in kind for this week but haven't yet had time to write it. Thar's even though I started expressing some of my thoughts in a Comment on Uncle Agony and in an email to a friend. The thoughts were stimulated by thinking through the comments to the recent Uncle Agony post. I know I will not have time to write my new post over the weekend so will try to get it here on Thursday next week.

In the meantime do pop over an have a look at that post and the helpful, interesting comments and see if it sparks any thoughts off for you too. You can find that post here.

See you soon...

Thursday, 17 November 2016

avoiding abuse when new to BDSM

I seem to have been discussing potential abuse within BDSM a lot recently so it was interesting to receive an email recently from someone describing herself as a "New Sub" which raised that issue in the email header. She and her partner are both new to the world of BDSM and are in a new relationship. That clearly brings about lots of very understandable fears.

You can read what she has to say on Uncle Agony here.

There are always difficulties in a new relationship. New BDSM relationships are no exception to that. However where both are new to BDSM as well then there is possibly potential for further difficulties and, as Blackpurse said in her header, "abuse".

Do readers have any constructive advice they can give her? If so do visit Uncle Agony and comment there. Thanks.

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Tell me another secret...

When I asked readers to "Tell me a secret" several of you were kind enough and brave enough to do so. And I kept my promise. I didn't tell anyone - well apart from all the readers of this blog - obviously!

So will you tell me another secret? Go on. Just between you and me (and all our readers.)

Is there something that you secretly wish your Dom would do but do not like to tell them. Perhaps it is just too...

Or as a Dom do you have something secret planned for your sub - when you feel they are ready for it...

Or maybe you are secretly fearful of something that your Dom might decide to do that you know will be just too difficult for you.

Again - do tell...

Thursday, 3 November 2016


The internet is not a place known for its kindness. One hears more and more reports about trolling and abuse. In fact I have suffered from it myself on different forums but fortunately not here.

When I set up this blog I expected to have to put up with a certain amount of abuse - if only from those who would regard kindness and domination as being incompatible. There are also those others who feel there is only one true way to be involved in D/s or BDSM or DD or whatever and would take exception to my views. Fortunately I have had none of that.

Instead I have found on this and my previous Beau blog nothing but kindness and friendship. Through those friendships I became involved in other online creative erotic projects such as Dragonfly Geisha. Some friendships turned into deep online and, in one case, real life relationships.

There are kind and supportive networks to be found on the internet that can be a boon to those who feel lost and alone.

I was reminded of that kindness in the response to my previous post. I have heard from readers who recognised the blogger I was referring to in my last post. They too remembered her fondly and wished her well. If she ever reads this post I hope she will know that there are old friends from the internet who remember her fondly wish her well.