Monday, 30 November 2015

Developments on the "life change" post below

I published a post here on the Uncle Agony blog with a dilemma from Mary. There was a very supportive discussion that resulted from it and it also stimulated discussion on another post on this blog here. Those of you who followed those discussions might be interested in reading a new email from Mary which I have published here.

Friday, 27 November 2015

Thursday ...


I try to post on a Thursday. I had some thoughts in mind based on last week's post. Thank you by the way to all who responded last week. It was fascinating to find it hit a spot and many wanted to respond even if only with one word. I'll try to write properly about that next week.

I'm just so busy with several projects at the moment. (Sadly not kink oriented!) Though it is good to be busy. (Well, kind of!)

Sorry to neglect you - I'll be back next week.


Thursday, 19 November 2015


I wonder ...

Is it just me?

Or do others ...

Do you?


... have doubts about all of this?

Of your submision?

Of your role as Dom?

Just sometimes ...

... have doubts?

Do you?

Thursday, 12 November 2015

vulnerability and fragility

There was a very supportive response to the email from Mary published here on Uncle Agony. Thank you to all who made such insightful and helpful comments.

In the email Mary described how she was suffering from grief and depression. This got me thinking about the potential vulnerability and fragility of subs at such times.

Many say that is not good to make life changing decisions at such a time. However it is can be at these times that one feels impelled to do something different. There can be a desire for change given a belief that anything must be better than the current situation. Some supported, guided change might be just the thing.

However is this a time when someone manipulative can take advantage of such vulnerability? There may be a strong need for love, kindness and support. It could be easy to fall into the whims of a person purporting to offer such support when they might have a different more manipulative agenda.

Though perhaps the biggest difficulty is for those closest. How does a Dom respond when his sub is going through such a difficult time? Is a time-out from D/s and bdsm appropriate - or is it just the thing that can take the sub away from her cares and help improve her mood through distraction and with the creation of endorphins. This is something a Dom can easily get wrong with the best of intentions. When a sub is in a fragile state perhaps such mistakes could be emotionally or psychologically harmful.

I wonder if you have been there as Dom or sub?

Thursday, 5 November 2015

life change

Is a time of major personal distress and crisis the time to make major life changing decisions - including one to newly embrace ones submission?

Mary has written to Pygar asking for advice via the Uncle Agony blog. You can read her full email and my response here.

I know she is eager for advice from readers. If you have any suggestions as to her best way forward please do comment on that post.