Thursday, 25 September 2008


In the comments to a post by Maryann the issue of punishment came up.

"Punishment" often seems wrong to me in a normal context. Except in the context of a consensual D/s relationship.

Rewards actually work better than punishment in training. I don't punish my children. In particular I think any violence towards children is wrong. I think violence towards women is wrong in any setting - let alone a domestic one. Except ...

... in a consensual D/s setting where each is getting pleasure, satisfaction or fulfillment from bdsm play.

So I too have a little problem that I am trying to resolve with "punishment spankings" as opposed to "erotic spankings". In the end though - I think they may be the same but at a different level.

When the consent is withdrawn then it becomes domestic abuse.

However reading the above again I seem confused even to me!

From her blog Maryann's relationship seems to be breaking at the moment. I send her my very best wishes.

Monday, 22 September 2008

"Is this all?"

Thank you to everyone who commented on my feminism post below. I was loath to publish another post at the moment as I didn't wish to draw attention away from it. I had thought of publishing all the comments as a new post but decided that might be a bit indulgent. If you've missed it though - do have a read through the comments and feel free to add to the discussion.

In those comments the delightful Livvy - the English Courtesan - promised I could spank her while she read "The Feminine Mystique" to me. Sadly I think she is teasing me again - or at least would charge me far more than I could afford! However it did get me to look at the book again. The opening words struck a chord with me - they sounded so much like how many subs had described their awakening to me.

'The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States. Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night--she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question--"Is this all?" '

Tuesday, 16 September 2008


I have read many subs write critically of feminism. Indeed some of them find that hard to reconcile with other beliefs they may hold.

However I know many other subs who are feminists. I recollect one who once wrote that there was only one way she wanted to be chained to the kitchen sink!

I am a Dom.

I am also a feminist.

How do I reconcile those stances ... ?

Saturday, 13 September 2008


I'm back home ...

but with so little time to write at the moment.

There have been some very interesting comments to old posts from new readers while I have been away that have got me thinking. Thank you to you all and I promise I will try to respond soon.

And then there is my post about feminism to come ...