Wednesday, 27 May 2009

youth versus experience

In a comment to my last post about Gor, Selkie wondered what happened to the middle aged women of Gor as all the women there seemed to be young, nubile slaves. It got me thinking again about how the supposed ideals of female beauty automatically seem to include youth. I know that men are often attracted to younger women and I cannot totally deny this in myself. Of course I can find young women attractive. However for me the ideal of female beauty is certainly not a very young woman. A chubby faced youngster cannot be beautiful as she has not the character on her face that is drawn by a few lines and creases. For me there needs to be that character for true beauty - so in this, older women can truly have the advantage. Perhaps one should search too for wisdom in a woman as well as physical beauty. Experience certainly helps to provide that.

This can apply the other way around. A couple of women have recently mentioned to me how attractive they find a particular young, male singer who is tall, dark and handsome and has a very fit and toned body. Of course I am not jealous (much!!!!) as I am sure they both also appreciate the lines of character and experience on my own face (written more in hope than expectation!)

So whilst any offers to me of a nubile, young Gorean slave would certainly not be turned away (if only!) I could be even more happy to accept an offer of a beautiful, middle aged slave!


oatmeal girl said...

Oh my goodness, I just wish I could properly show my gratitude for your words. I am by no means young, and only through the magic of revised definitions am I considered middle aged.

In fact, I had quite a struggle leading up to my recent, milestone birthday. Hell, why be coy, since we're talking about attitudes towards age. I turned 60. And I got a hell of a talking to from my Master about how much more I have to offer in both brains and sexiness than some young, freshly hatched woman.

After enough scoldings and enough spankings, the message finally gets through. So now I truly believe him that I am beautiful and sexy and smart and creative and I believe it so thoroughly that I feel it like a glowing haze all around me. Quite amazing. I feel sexier and more desirable now than at any time in my entire, frustrating life.

So thank you to you and anyone and everyone who repeats the message. Don't write us off. You don't know what your missing.

And most important of all - let's not write ourselves off. We're smart and we're hot!!

Anonymous said...

I find the age of the ideal beauty for me ages as I age. When I look at 18 yr old or 21 yr old it does not matter how beautiful and sexy she is all I can think is "I wonder if her Dad is my age?"

I have always seen the possibility of beauty in women and never has been genetic or biased by youth. A dress on the hanger no matter how beautiful a cut or fabric is as lifeless as a rag until a woman fills it out.

So it is with beauty for me. Unless the woman inside is glowing the shell cannot be beautiful. It is that life and well of experience that creates beauty. Although I have never met her I can assure you Selkie would take my breath away and oatmeal girl listen and believe your Master sounds wise from where I read.

As for the nubile young slave girl Pygar you may have her. I will amuse myself with the woman who trained her.

selkie said...

The cynic in me feels that most dominants would choose the nubile young thing. It is an unfortuante reality that older women generally (not just in the kink community) have little value and become "invisible" in a manner of speaking.

I do believe there are some out there that DO appreciate what maturity offers (thank you Sir J - your words ring sincere), but I think they are far and few between.

Like Sir J, when it comes to men - I cannot find anything appealing in a sexual way or submissive way for that matter in anyone under 45 - and that's the truth. I think for me it has a lot to do with having kids - I look at anyone under 30 as a "baby".

Maturity really does bring some wisdom and insight that sadly, is often unappreciated.

Anonymous said...

Now selkie, you are the one whose words ring true. How difficult it is as we age to feel that we are no longer beautiful (even pretty or attractive), that we are constantly compared to everything else on offer out there, and demean ourselves. It does not matter what my Master says to be, i will always believe He is waiting for the next best thing to come along.


Pygar said...

Thank you oatmeal girl, Sir J, selkie and serenity.

There are some interesting and contrasting views expressed in your comments. Clearly this has to be a personal view ... and many of the views are very personal.

There are bound to be differences in men's views of female beauty. There is a larger issue - both personal and for society - of how women view their own beauty. There are few who think of themselves as beautiful. One of the most beautiful women I have known who was self assured in many ways often doubted her own good looks.

It is an issue of women's self esteem - but that self esteem, or lack of it, is often caused by men. It must be difficult, if not impossible, to recognise your beauty as an attractive woman if, for example, your partner has just left you for a younger woman. We often also see the examples of powerful or rich men with younger "trophy wives".

But sometimes beauty itself is contained within self assurance. A women who is confident in her looks and sexiness can often look very beautiful despite age, figure and other physical characteristics because of her self assurance.

Regarding age in particular, I met a woman friend for coffee recently who I have not seen for a couple of years. She looked very attractive. I complimented her on how well she looked. She works as an escort, is very popular and sought after so she can charge a premium rate for her services. She is in her fifties yet busier than many younger escorts.

On a fetish related social networking website I have published some of my photographs of beautiful women - including some professional models. A reader of this blog visited recently and picked one picture out as the one he liked the best. That was of a woman in her fifties.

Thank you again for your comments. I am sure you are all beautiful. Including you Sir J!!!!


PS I've still had no offers of beautiful nubile slave girls. You'd think there would be some perks to writing this blog!

Unknown said...

I think youth is easier to project onto. My 40 year old face tells a story and reveals its secrets too readily. Youth is more adaptable and holds more mystery - it is a blank canvas rather than a molded, and perhaps hardened, form. My age has stripped me of some of the more subtle and coy forms of submission - I can't hide aggravation or boredom as I once could. I can't my unguarded moments I reveal myself...and in a unguarded moment the young reveal how truly unguarded they actually are.

Experience makes us beautiful but it is a more specific is more about who we are and what life has made of us. As a submissive woman, I envy the gift youth can give a man - not just in beauty...but in the unshaped and untested quality that helps her develop as a woman with him. Perhaps that is part of youth's pull...or maybe it is just the firm breasts...grins...sighs...

JMDee said...

Hi there:

According to this article women feel sexiest at age 34 on average, and women aged 45-60 have better, more satisfying sex. Older women know what they want. They've developed confidence and comfort with their sexuality.

In my experience confidence and comfort on an average face is far sexier than insecurity and discomfort on Fibonacci's poster child.

So, youth may be aesthetically more pleasing in photographs, but photographs lose their appeal after puberty; they just can't compete with real, living, breathing experience.



Pygar said...

Thank you Rachel - there are lots of interesting ideas there. The blank canvas to be moulded is a very seductive idea for a Dom ... but I wonder if I have the confidence ... or the arrogance(?). Perhaps I am more interested in creating something from two strong personalities rather than moulding one however seductive that idea may be.

Do yo really find it harder to hide your feelings as you get older? Often I think it can be the opposite way round and that with less experience ones feelings and emotions show themselves more clearly.

But thank you for your ideas ... even if your image of the unshaped beauty with the firm breasts is becoming so seductive to me!


Pygar said...

Thank you for the link to the article JMDee. It is good to have a little evidence to back up my ramblings!