Friday, 21 June 2013


Some time ago a friend, who sadly no longer blogs as far as I am aware, wrote
"This still leaves issues with the term 'pain' which classical definitions cannot help us with: pain is generally perceived by the population to mean something that should be avoided. Even coupling the word 'exquisite' with 'pain' doesn't seem to get the message across: pain is extreme sensation, and is not necessarily bad or best avoided."
She laughed when I quoted it back to her before we played. She hates being quoted. I suggested we changed "and is not necessarily bad or best avoided" to " and is sometimes to be embraced."

So "pain is extreme sensation and is sometimes to be embraced."

I wonder how many of you embrace pain. Can it be "exquisite"? I hate receiving it but get pleasure from administering it in appropriate and sensual situations.


tori said...

Im masochistic so yes i embrace pain, i prefer an s/m session than actually having sex, or perhaps what i should say is s/m satisfies me on a sexual level.

For me a huge turn on and what i would define as 'exquisite' pain is when im being pushed past my pain threshold..i like enduring...and although i may hate it at the time..afterwards the high it gives me is mindblowing lol

Pygar said...

Thanks tori. It is interesting that you actually prefer a s/m session to sex. You must get a lot from it!

For me and my woman I think that pain is part of a sensual experience. However the pain inflicted or endured is not very extreme. Perhaps we should take it further.

It is interesting that for you 'exquisite' pain is when you are pushed past your pain threshold - that you like enduring and get a mindblowing high. This must necessitate a huge amount of trust - and a partner who knows you well and is skilled in causing your pain safely.

Thanks again and good luck

P xx

saffy said...

i need and embrace the pain in my life.... i am an addict ( or maybe masochistic is a better word) How ever there is a thin line, and a big difference for me from that pain that gives me pleasure and the pain that i got from the scald that happened on my hand. Maybe i should say i am an addict to controlled and safe pain given to me by MK.
He seems to know where and how far to turn up the pace , and when not to. .

Pygar said...

Yes saffy - context is everything. There is a big difference between accidental pain and that administered in a session. Your scald must have been awful but you have perhaps appreciated severe pain in a different contact and got off on it.

I believe you are also right that it is controlled and safe pain that one gets off on - because like tori you too can trust your Master.

Thanks for taking time to pass on your personal experience and knowledge.

P xx

nbs said...

Yes,, I embrace pain as an extreme sensation.

I surely don't like the random stub my toe pain.. but that isn't unusual.

I am masochistic which I've only understood in the past three years.
It certainly has taken some leaps of faith to take the pain when given by Sir and understand that I will really be glad to hold it so close to me.
It's been (and will always be} an interesting journey!

Pygar said...

An interesting journey indeed nbs! It is interesting that it has taken some leaps of faith to take you to where you now are.

Good luck along your journey and many thanks for sharing your perspective.

P xx

sinister_ali said...

I love a good spanking or hair tug but I'm no pain slut. I'm not into the bruising and other things. Sometimes if I'm not paying attention master will pull my hair even at the store to grab my attention. Its hot!.

sasha said...

I've recently started realizing I receive a rush from pain. Echoing the other comments on here - not stubbing a toe, or getting a paper cut, but I am attracted to being burned, even accidentally. I burned myself on the steam coming from a tea kettle, and found myself lustfully staring at it for a few's a very odd experience to say the least, realizing with what and where your hearts desire lies. Does this make me a masochist? Not sure. Up for experimentation though, taha. Generally, I approach life as a double edged spectrum - in some context pain and pleasure are as intricately and ingenuously tied as the helixes of the human genome.

Pygar said...

Thank you sasha - quite fascinating.

I find it hard to empathise with feeling lustful from being burned by the kettle!

I wonder if this is leading to masochism when you also find that pain and pleasure are so inextricably linked.

Is that something that would worry you? Or would you embrace masochism?

P xx

sasha said...

It was definitely pretty confusing realizing where my nerves fell on the pain/pleasure spectrum. It's not exactly as if I have a choice in the matter though, so letting it worry me is pretty useless. It's one thing if my kink, if you will, harmed other living things (non-consensually, obviously). Then I'd be a bit irked.

At this point I haven't taken my masochism to a sexual level - it's purely sensation for sensations sake. Mostly that's because I've only been in vanilla relationships, and also because, as many have stated or alluded to on this thread, there's a huge amount of trust involved when it comes to delivering and receiving pain.

I'll be moving to Berlin soon however, so we'll see if I'll be able to explore my burgeoning masochism a bit further :).

Pygar said...

Thanks sasha for your further thoughts.

I hope you enjoy Berlin. I was there recently with Inès and we had a great time. Inès lived there many years ago so we visited old haunts of hers and met old friends. We also made some new friends - you can see some of what we got up to on my Beau blog here. I'll be publishing some more photographs there over the next few days.

We shall be visiting Berlin again before Christmas so if you are there by then do let us know.

P xx