Thursday, 13 August 2015

Can online ever be a substitute for a face to face relationship?

I am sure I have written about online D/s and bdsm relationships before. I have had some very intense, real and lasting online relationships that have been very powerful and have stirred strong emotions.

So I was interested in an email while I was away from a reader who had fallen in love and wanted a real D/s relationship. However his girl was married and was only prepared to accept an online relationship. Could it be made to work?

I have reprinted his email (with permission) onto the Uncle Agony blog. You can read it here.

You can also read my very unsatisfactory response. It was written very hurriedly. If you can come up with further thoughts that would be great.


Baby Girl said...

Dear Pygar,

Hmmm...this is a tough one. And your response is by no means perfunctory! :-)

From the perspective of a submissive (a submissive who met her Dom online and ended up getting married to him), I'm all for online D/s relationships and wholeheartedly agree with you and your reader that the emotions involved in an online experience can be every bit as intense and rewarding as an in-person experience.

However, I'm also a submissive who is willful and I enjoy the feeling of being kept in my place, of knowing that he can exact punishment and provide pleasure physically at his will. A long term online solution, no matter how much we loved/love each other, would not have worked for us. I would have eventually found myself disappointed at the lack of physicality between us.

Now, that being said, if your reader's submissive is a good, obedient little one and enjoys the dynamic that they share, and if your reader can come to grips with the fact that he may not ever be able to mark her and tie her up as he sees fit, then they can make it work for them.

Your advice is sound, given the challenging circumstances of their relationship (not just the online aspect, but the marriage as well) - if they both want it and they both work at it together, then they can make it work. It's all about their level of commitment. I'd like to think that my Daddy/Dom and I would have made it work at any costs and that, if we couldn't have been together physically, we would have pursued any level of relationship that was available to us. Unfortunately, I don't think that would be enough for me.

If your reader has found this special submissive, then he is truly lucky and has found a gem.

And yes, punishments most certainly CAN be meted out online! :-)

Take care,
Baby Girl

Pygar said...

Thank you very much Baby Girl for your thoughts on this problem. I have also copied your comment onto the thread on Uncle Agony.

Like you Graham likes the physicality of a relationship and is worried if online will meet his needs. From other things he has written I get the impression that his sub is not "... a good, obedient little one ...". So I imagine he will be reassured when you say that "... punishments most certainly CAN be meted out online! :-)"

Thanks again for your thoughtful response.

P xx

Pygar said...

There have been new developments! Do read about them here.