Tuesday, 21 May 2019

masturbation 1

It has taken me a while to write this post. I had the ideas in draft for ages but the detail drifted from my mind. So I hope it makes sense. The original comment was here.

The commenter ("Anonymous" of course!) wrote, "A confession: I have masturbated to your blog. A lot. More than I dare admit." They went on, "Please keep reading" as if  worried that the initial "confession" would stop me wanting to read further, as if it had no worth.

I admit I was surprised. I had not thought of my blog as one that someone would fine arousing enough to masturbate to. It is not a blog that sets out to be arousing. However it may be for some who are not part of this world, to read people discussing it and to be able to imagine oneself part of it might be arousing. As well as surprised I surprisingly found myself happy that someone had found intimate physical pleasure from the writing here. Though I am sure it will have been the writing of my commenters that was most arousing!

However, my initial thought was about shame in admitting to masturbating. I was sad about the tone of the commenter. Why is it still a shameful activity? In the UK the word "wanker" (which refers to masturbation, most often of men) is still used regularly as a term of abuse.

Meanwhile magazines and the web is full of adverts and features on the best vibrators and dildos. Possession of a vibrator for a woman no longer something to hide but, amongst younger women in particular, becoming the norm.

Masturbation is a pleasurable activity that does harm to nobody unless done to excess. So how do we rid ourselves of shame in regard to it?

Do you admit openly that you masturbate?


Jz said...

Pygar, I'm from New England...
We don't even admit openly that we have sex with others, much less ourselves! ;-p

Teasing aside, it's still fairly true.
It's not a shame thing, more a question of the Golden Rule - because I figure most people are no more interested in hearing about my sex life than I am in hearing about theirs. "Yeah, no. Let's not go there..."

(Hard to figure how I ever wormed my way into this little corner of the blogosphere, isn't it?)

Pygar said...

You may be from New England Jz - but I'm from Old England! We know all about keeping such things hidden away in a closet of shame. Sex with others? There are gentlemen and ladies in England who have still never heard of such a thing!!! But sex with oneself requires a severe beating to prevent any repetition. Surely that is how spanking became known as the English Vice.

And as you have wormed your way into a very popular niche in the blogosphere, I'll hear no more from you about your reticence!


P xx

Pygar said...

PS I'm not sure where Girl on the Net is from. However, on her blog she has said today that it is masturbation month and given 10 fantasies to inspire us! You can read them all here.

I haven't read them all yet but I am sure that I and Girl on the Net would love to know which, if any, worked best for you.


P xx

Anonymous said...

Eek! I'm anonymous! Imagine my surprise when I checked your blog and quickly realized that the post was solely about my comment. I'm completely taken aback and flattered.

Admitting to it was deeply embarrassing to me-- even anonymously online. Not to shame anyone but I tend to shy away overtly explicit things/images. I prefer the implication of depravity. It's far sexier (to me, at least). And, in my flurry of shyness, I accidentally wrote "please keep reading" when I MEANT to writing "please keep writing." Your posts are uncommonly erudite and quietly, insanely erotic. There are so few male Doms who have blogs and many of them are barely-concealed ego trips and/or subliterate. Thank you for being, well, *you*.

Blushing furiously,

Fondles said...

i am from Asia. no one talks about sex, never mind masturbation - altho with close friends who we've sussed out to be "open minded" enough, we sometimes discuss stuff, but only in the way that one might ask for advice or an opinion, to check if they were normal or if they had encountered similar setbacks for eg.

I am SO glad i have my blog where I can say all the things I want to say, and ask the things I want to ask, and thru which I have met the many people who think positively about sex and sexually-related things.

Recently a sex-toy eshop wrote me to ask if I would review some of their products and that to me is super exciting. Alas I can't share something like that with my real-life friends, oh wait, except for 2 - who are aware of my inclination towards DD/lg and who know that I have a "sex blog". But we don't discuss anything in detail, generally.

Pygar said...

Thank you Anonymous. Now you've got me blushing too!

P xx

Pygar said...

Thanks Fondles. As you say, you at least have your blog to let it all out on. Do let us know when you have reviewed your sex toys.

Have fun.


P xx

Lea said...

It depends on who I am speaking with. With my coworkers, no. With my mom, or older family members, no.

With friends I trust, sure! I guess there are still some frontiers out there.

Pygar said...

I think most of us would also baulk at family members and co-workers, Lea. It is great though that you have trusted friends that you are happy to share such things with if you wanted too. Thanks so much for sharing.

P xx