Tuesday, 12 April 2011


I am not a religious person. I do not have a religious faith.

But I do find some old churches very special, calm, peaceful places where I can reflect and consider or perhaps dream. I can even indulge myself in ritual or symbolism. A few days ago when I was visiting another city I popped into a favourite historic church. I lit a candle, thinking of some current family issues and those of a close friend. There is something appropriate (comforting?) about such rituals.

Later I remembered two others in the church who were kneeling - perhaps praying and in deep contemplation of things very close and precious to them. I thought about the symbolism of kneeling. This made me think also of subs kneeling for their Master.

In a religious sense it is a symbol (or aspect) of worship. Very powerful. Very intense. Is it this powerfulness and intensity of feeling what is being searched for in the different context of D/s? For the sub as well as for the Master. Or is it something different. Why is kneeling often used in a D/s context?

I have always asked subs to kneel for me. It has given a closeness and preciousness to our relationship - and emphasised the power relationship.

I have read suggestions that as our society becomes more secular many people who no longer have religion are looking for alternatives - such as astrology, meditation, almost anything to fill the gap left. I wondered too whether D/s or BDSM might for some be such an alternative?


Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post. When I kneel for him my walls crumble, yes very much like spiritually. It is both the most vulnerable and safe space for my heart to be. for me the two -kneeling for him and kneeling before my concept of God- are connected.


Unknown said...

*huge smile* ( you know why ;) )

I too am not a religious person, and in the same respect I like churches for the same reasons as you (although I had a real issue going into churches when i was younger, it just felt wrong somehow). I never understood that whole kneeling thing -until I became a submissive. The urge to do is so strong it is palpable. As you say; "Worship". Maybe not in the same sense as in religion -or is it? I think what the kneeling represents the most is the "giving". The giving of yourself, through and through. You open the very core of yourself to this person/being, stand completely naked -indeed very intense and powerful.
Of course people in TTWD do it for the sole purpose of emphasizing the power structure too, but I think that is more to set a mindset for a session, in a D/s relationship though I think it is something much stronger, much deeper. Just as you say, it brings closeness and preciousness between those 2 persons, it's a display of the give and take -where both give, and both take.

Alice said...

Feelings of respect, adoration, an ache for protection and desire for direction - all these are common to both the religious person and the submissive. But the sexual nature of BDSM does makes it seem a very different creature and for a lot of people I suspect that the comparison would not be an easy one to accept. However, perhaps it is just that some of us have directed the same instincts down a very different path. An interesting thought Pygar. Thank you.

Marcela said...

All the comments in this thread meet at the centre of a magic wheel called Tantra. Tantric sexuality is precisely what we have been describing. The reason is that it is the symbolic representation of the yogic coming together of our ego - the sub in this metaphore - and our buddhanature, present in all of us - who is the Dom in the same metaphore.

The relation between these two parts of ourselves is that of submission, openness and safety on the sub/ego side, and of power, protection and inconditional love on the Dom/buddhanature side.

We don't know it, but we are searching for our integrity here.

That's why I said in another comment that Dom and sub end up being one and the same. The Dom can see his/her own sub projected, kneeling in front, the sub his/her Dom, powerfully manifesting itself as a projection in front. The name of that is true compassion.

Velvet said...

The comments above are so interesting. For me, what comes through is the symbiotic relationship. What is a Dom without His sub? What is a sub without her Dom? Each needs the other.
For me, kneeling feeds that dynamic and the further M and I go on our journey, the more powerful the effect of kneeling is for me. I actually crave the feelings it brings out in me (feelings I find difficult to describe but which are extremely intense) and the speed with which that happens is amazing.

Velvet <3

Anonymous said...

Does kneeling inspire the feeling of submission, or does submission inspire one to kneel?

How did the Catholic faith determine that kneeling was the position it wanted its adherents to adopt to show submission?

nbs said...

Kneeling is so powerful for me.
When I'm told to kneel cannot help but feel more submissive and somehow closer to him in every way.

I agree with you about the ritual of candle lighting and just being in a church. Older churches are somehow comforting and good places for contemplation of many sorts.

Southern Sir said...

I very much liked your post about kneeling. I do think one other thing could be added regarding a sub kneeling to their Dom. It could also be seen as an aspect of their submission. Just like a dog or cat that rolls over and exposes their belly to their Master, so can be kneeling to one's Master be in the same context. Kneeling puts one in a vulnerable position one that would not be done unless one feels comfortable enough and/or safe enough with the other to put one in that vulnerable of a postion.

Pedro Garcia Millan said...



Gracias :)

Pygar said...

Thank you all. What fascinating and very personal responses.

I had been concerned about this post and thought hard before publishing it. I am pleased now that I did. Forgive me not mentioning you all by name but I do appreciate all your very thoughtful responses. I hope others have enjoyed reading them as much as me.

- P xx

Starfish said...

I'm new, so I'm a little late to the party. :)

My husband and I are both deeply religious people. Kneeling is not something we do as a regular part of worship, but we have done it and we both understand and welcome its significance.

Neo Dom Tom said: "Does kneeling inspire the feeling of submission, or does submission inspire one to kneel?"

Wow, what a powerful question.

For me, it's both. If I had known the impact kneeling for him would have on our bond, I'd have started doing it years ago. I can't go to sleep at night if I haven't knelt before him and given him my absolute and utter devotion at some point during the day. Hopefully more than once.

Pygar said...

Thank you starfish for your powerful insight.

It is never too late!

P xx

Fallen Angel said...

I'm not religious at all, though I do find kneeling for my Sir makes me weak[er] at the knees. I feel his power over me, which I like. I know that he is in full control. I am on the floor, usually naked, and he is standing over me, fully clothed. There is a very strong power dynamic there, which I truly adore and need to feel totally relaxed in myself and my especially in my sexuality.