Monday, 5 September 2011


I can't remember how the word came into my mind recently.

Now I can't get rid of it as I have the Neil Young song relentlessly going through my mind.

However it seemed to me a counter balance to my previous post about fear. I was thinking of the positive and erotic aspect of helplessness. Who of us Doms does not find that aspect of submission so special - to have another helpless, totally under our control unable to do anything except submit to our desires?

And is that not also what many subs seek - to experience exactly that from the other side. To be truly "helpless".

Do you seek helplessness?

I wonder if lack or fear helps you find it - or whether you seek it to experience that frisson of fear?


Anonymous said...

Being utterly helpless under Him is pretty erotic indeed. There is definitely a fear element being at another's mercy. As long as there is underlying trust, the fear serves to accentuate the pleasure..

Vesta said...

Great minds think alike Pygar and it definitely seems we had the same thought at just about the same time this time. I have written my thoughts in the most written entry of my journal. The point I wanted to make really is that feeling helpless can be the most extraordinary rush. To put yourself in the hands of someone and see what you get back and discover you love it is one of the best feelings in the world. It develops an extraordinary bond. I would not have known such a thing existed if I had not experienced it myself. There are moments of doubt. One can feel so vulnerable. Yet oddly, the trust remains. It is almost indescribable; like the trust of a very young child that his caregivers will take care of him and keep him safe, no matter what.

vanillamom said...

oh yes!

Master would often bring this to the fore when we were planning our first meeting (which kept being delayed, and delayed and delayed...damn New England snowstorms!)...he played off that..."how will you feel when the door shuts and locks behind you and you are helpless to leave, and you are mine to do with as I want..."

even now, 2 years into our relationship, the thought of that stirs heat in me.

it is such an *incredible* turn on to be "helpless"...


Storm said...

Feeling helpless is terrifying...But it is one of the biggest turn-ons in ttwd.

blossom said...

i love the thought of being vunerable and helpless, it gives me massive butterflies in my tummy (only way i can describe the, i feel so aroused at the thought that i am handing myself over to Another,the unknown as to what will happen, the sense He instills leading up to that moment, as long as there is trust between the two to go with this.

Anonymous said...

Giving myself completely and rendering myself helpless to my Master is something I long to do.

Take care, Sky

sarah said...

Helplessness, fear, loosing total control of the situation and being moved outside of your comfort zone all combine to make the most intensely erotic and exciting experience...but first and foremost comes absolute trust...without that i just couldn't contemplate placing whats essentialy my life in others hands.

Elder said...

Helplessness can be very powerful, It results from the actions of the Dom in for instance a BDSM scene. Personally how ever I prefer "can not help her self". This results from the state of mind the sub is, even if the Dom allows her to do otherwise. If she can not help her self, defenses are shot to pieces and barriers are blown away. That Is what I am going for.

Pygar said...

I love K how you describe the eroticism of being helpless - how fear accentuates pleasure.

Fancy Vesta us choosing to write about helplessness on the same day! You wrote more beautiful though than me. I have written a comment on your post.

I see vanillamom, lil, blossom and sarah that you too are turned on by the notion of being helpless. Have fun!

I hope Sky that you too can be delightfully helpless under the control of your Master.

Thank you Elder for your thoughts of developing the idea further into "cannot help herself". It is an interesting approach from a Dom's perspective.

- P

*^_^* said...

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
Besides, being angry is as close as a human being can come to experiencing hell on earth.

Christina said...

Im strong until I "go into my shell" of wanting someone else to take over and worry about the bills, etc!!

Living alone sucks big time!! However as my older sister commented to me on the telephone [10/11/011 my bday] you chose this lifestyle, of being on your own so deal with it!!

That comment didnt help me come out of my depression it only increased my feelings which lasted until the 3rd week of this month!!

Anyway, lol like the House of Shadows deviant, my mind is wandering too as I comment on the "helpless" blog!

Im a "closeted / novice" submissive in my fantasies, not a real life submissive so yes being at another's mercy could be challenging!! The question is am I ready; perhap this is why Ive returned to reading D/s blogs!!

Pygar said...

Thank you Christina. I wonder if while there is part of you that fears being helpless part of you desires it. That fear may even be part of the desire or at least a trigger for it.

P xx

Christina said...

Yes Pygar you may be right that I deisire to be helpless - at the mercy of another and then again fear it too!!!

Something / Someone [not yet met] is pulling at me~! Ive even begun to recall instant message chats with former online Dominants!!

Pygar said...

Only you can decide Christina whether to follow that pull - but take care and have fun!

P xx