Monday, 21 May 2012

face slapping again - 4 - my submissive woman's view

I told my submissive woman about my last post - describing my thoughts of slapping her face. She responded with this,

"I need to be slapped. It brings me up short. I need it because it is shocking. It is also demeaning. It reduces me. It cuts me down. It disorientates me. It stops me talking or doing anything I want to do. It is close to my brain and my thoughts. Where I am most vulnerable. It is more likely to make me cry than any other physical beating. Not from pain but..."

It stopped there.

"Not from pain but ..."


faerie wings said...

Hi, I have read your last several posts on face slapping. Just getting up the nerve to comment, lol. I like it too, almost need it. I could not have expressed it any better then your submissive women did. In fact it brings some clarity bit of clarity for me to hear her view. It's not something I hear much about and have been hesitant to talk about also. Thank you for the posts :)

Pygar said...

Thank you so very much faerie. I do understand how hard it can be to comment sometimes.

My submissive woman (Msw) is very confident and strong but does not like technology and told me just the other day of how hard she had found it to reply to a blog where she was eager to comment.

Not everyone likes to make their thoughts public. Msw has started a blog recently related to her professional life. She is so frustrated that many friends email her about her posts rather than publishing them as comments.

I may republish the above as a post!

So thank you for joining in and sharing your thoughts.

The strength of this blog is the comments from its readers.

It is good also to know there are those who share Msw's feelings about something that to others may be considered taboo.

Best wishes

P xx

Butterfly Flip said...

Hi Pygar

Firstly, I just wanted to say I'm really loving your posts re: face slapping.
For me, it's a step too far, but that is a personal thing, something, or rather somewhere, I do not wish to go.

However, I can understand what your submissive woman refers to regards the impact it has upon her. I can see the value in that, can appreciate it despite my reservations.

Everytime I begin a new blog post on the subject I end up deleting it as I find it difficult to put into coherent prose my thoughts on the subject, maybe because they are still quite jumbled.Maybe one day I shall be able to do it.

Flip x

penthesilea said...

Dear Sir,
I'm commenting on this topic not because of your words, but because of your submissive woman's words.
For me face slapping is an absolute no go (same as name calling) - because in my eyes it is a sign of disrespect.

Mind you, I do not judge! Your submissive woman made me see her point.

I don't fear the pain, I fear my reaction. I'm a head person, so face slapping is too personal, too close. Likewise, in a new relationship, I'd rather consent to anal than to oral sex.

Pygar said...

Thanks Flip.

I think many, like you, will have reservations. I have had those reservations myself from the other side.

I understand you writing and deleting as you cannot get the words right. I often find myself doing that. Sometimes though trying to write about something can help formulate one's thoughts.

Even if your thoughts are only half worked out you might find in a blog conversation like this that it helps you think them through.

If you do publish on this topic please let me know.

P xx

Pygar said...

Thank you penthesilea for explaining why you find face slapping a step too far.

I understand how you perceive it as an act of disrespect - like name calling. With both it is perhaps how it is done. I know that Msw knows that there is no malice from me in face slapping or name calling. It is something that works for us.

I respect Msw very, very much. If I didn't then I could not slap her face or call her names. To do that without respect would be abuse.

However it is very powerful.

You talk of it as being too personal, too close. But isn't the nature of a D/s relationship that it is very personal and close?

It is a psychological thing - yes we are "head persons" too. That is why it works. It is what gives it its power. It is the psychological aspect rather than the pain that I believe she craves. Does that not come out in her words when she writes, "It is close to my brain and my thoughts."

I should say also that I do not slap very hard. Severe blows to the head are dangerous. It is the symbolism of the face slapping that is important. It works perhaps because of the points you make rather than despite them.

From my standpoint it shows the level of commitment she has to me - and I hope the way I do it, accompanied by caresses and kisses and kind words, shows my commitment to her alongside my domination of her.

Thank you very much for sharing your personal and stimulating thoughts on this.

P xx

Pygar said...

Perhaps though the explanation from Msw explains it best,

"Are you aware that, without the caressing and kissing you do each time you slap my face, I could not handle it? I would not want it. It would be horrible. It would seem particularly vindictive and - yes - disrespectful. A hate act.

I am grateful that you do this for me - in the way that you do it. Those people responding to your blog need to understand that I have consented to it. It is a need of mine which you fulfil for me. Not an impulse of gratuitous sadism on your part. You are kind to me. You worry that it's too much, and whisper between slaps to check if I'm ok. I love you for this. I feel your care. I feel very very close to you because of this act. In no other part of my life would a slap in the face be anything other than a devastating assault. Having you slap me is a way to show you my utter submission. I would not accept to be treated like this by anyone else. Ever. My trust in you is boundless.

dancingbarez said...

Thank you for again for posting about it. thjis is something I have wanted to ask for but am afraid to do so. It is opening my eyes to the factthat I need to bring it up.

Pygar said...

Good luck dancingbarez if you do decide to discuss this further.

P xx

aisha said...


Interesting post - thanks for sharing it.

i have not been comfortable with face slapping, because that was part of my experience in an abusive relationship and i didn't know how i might react to it. Lately, My Sir has slapped my face - lightly - several times and i've been ok with it, but it doesn't turn me on the way spanking does and it makes me tense.

i don't know if that will change with time or not, but i think He wants to see if it will.


Pygar said...

Thank you aisha for sharing this.

If face slapping has been experienced in an abusive relationship then it must be difficult to eroticise it or accept it as part of a loving relationship. There are bound to be ingrained associations that will be hard to eradicate.

I hope you and your Sir are careful with it. Though it would be great to be able to reclaim it as part of a positive relationship.

Take care

P xx

wakai`ama said...


I just read your face slapping posts and i can definitely agree with your girl. I have just started playing again with a trustworthy play partner and He too, slaps my face. At first I felt assaulted but then He started to caress my cheek and speak softly to me, looking into my eyes gauging how I was taking it.

As we started doing breath play he would slap my face to make sure I was with Him. After the first few times I let Him know I was there and the face slapping was discontinued.

I find it interesting the care He put into making sure it wasn't seen as a negative thing before He used it further in play.

Thank you for your post.

Anonymous said...

"not from pain, but..." from the release of letting the pain & hurt go. that overwhelming feeling a submissive gets when she's put in her place by someone who see's her submission as the ultimate gift a person can give another human being... the feeling that comes from deep inside waiting to be released by someone strong enough to handle the twisted, darkest secrets of my mind...