Thursday, 6 October 2016

on giving pleasure...

If you are a submissive, do you like to please? Is that not what you are for?

Do you go out of your way to please? Do you constantly think of ways to please your dominant? Are you imaginative in seeking out new ways to give pleasure?

Or are you just there, available, for your  dominant to take their pleasure whenever, however, they want?


Misty said...

My goal is to be both. :)

Pygar said...

Such a good girl Misty! I hope you succeed.

P xx

Jz said...

I'm not really certain there's any "just" to being there, available for my dom to take pleasure in whenever and however they want it... But for what it's worth, I have found that being the vehicle for him to use as he wants is a more effective way to please than by coming up with my own ideas of what he will find pleasing - because I often guess wrong. What I imagine he'll find attractive is frequently far more about what I like, not him...

Pygar said...

Well said Jz. You are quite right to pick me up on my use of the word "just".

You make the point about the value and specialness of your submission very powerfully. And yes, perhaps there is that danger in thinking up special things they may be things that youreally want rather than him.

Thanks for the contribution

P xx

Willow Rosenberg said...

Constantly... nah! ;) It wouldn't please my Dom if I didn't actively pursue some interests of my own or if I ditched my responsibilities in order to think up new ways on how to please him. However... at the beginning of my sub journey I found this snippet (I think on TIH) and it's still a good guideline for me:
"Your role in his life is to be a joy, a blessing, a smile, more often than a pain in the ass.
"You are a reflection of his dominance with your words, your deeds, and your demeanour."
So, this does put "what would please my Dom" pretty high up on my list of decision-making throughout the day, and it doesn't make me try to constantly come up with new ways to please him. Although, that may also be because he has very clearly told me he LIKES the established ways and because he isn't shy to tell me when there's something else he'd like.
There is the "just" constantly available bit as well.
But as for thinking up ways to please him... While certain home-cooked favourite meals hardly ever fail to please, I've found it most effective to simply ask him what would please him, and THAT pleases him a lot. Often it is "some me-time" so he can recharge from his very demanding job. Not an easy one when I'd much rather be close to him when he comes home, but hey, if it's what he wants, it's what he gets, if I can give it. And, lucky me, sometimes his pleasure is eliciting as much pleasure out of me as I can stand, and then some.
I'd say, once we had the communication bit sorted, this all got way easier than pre-D/s.

Pygar said...

Thank you Willow for your interesting and thoughtful response.

Yes, I guess asking what would please him will be effective! And yes too - communication is right at the heart of it all.

Good luck

P xx

DM said...

Constantly? No. Is it on my mind often? Absolutely. Is pleasure a focus of our alone time together? Absolutely. If I have a choice, I'd rather give pleasure than receive it any day but whatever my Dom wants I'm open to explore. If you care about someone and are intimate with them their happiness and pleasure should be a focus I'd think.

Pygar said...

"If I have a choice, I'd rather give pleasure than receive it any day but whatever my Dom wants I'm open to explore."

In which case I think your Dom is a very lucky person Dani! I do hope he is thinking of your pleasure too.

Good luck

P xxxx