Sunday, 5 November 2017

Dominance - being weak to be strong

There are a lot of pressures on Doms to remain strong. That is their role. Their subs expect it. That is why many have given their submission to another - for them to be strong and control and care for them.

But there are times when we all need some down-time. For a Dom that may be to be weak for a while; to let go and not be all-powerful; to just relax themselves and let go of the responsibility. "Responsibility" puts on so much pressure. In the end we all need a break from it. There are many who have responsible real life jobs who love to spend time as a submissive with a dominant just to be able to let go. So if someone close to you relies on you to be dominant then where do you go? What do you do when pressures build up? How do you respond?

A friend recently wrote to me that she remembered her Domme saying to her, "that she could never do a 24 hour play relationship because she needs to be able to be weak sometimes in order to be the strong dominant I know."

This was at a time when we were both feeling lots of pressure and stress. She continued, "And I feel totally weak because all the stress from the last weeks is catching up with me. But I realize I need this so that I can go on later." Then recommended that I take a break too.

It is the same for all of us - whether dominant or submissive. We sometimes need a break from stress. BDSM can sometimes be that break - to take us totally out of our day to day worries. However if we are over-stressed then it might be difficult to maintain that dominant demeanour.

So subs, if your dominant needs a break, remember the very wise words of my friend about her dominant, "she needs to be able to be weak sometimes in order to be the strong dominant I know."


DM said...

Well said and worth remembering.

willie said...

We have lived this situation.

Pygar said...

Thank you Dani and Wilma.

I wonder though if this can sometimes cause problems and tensions in a D/s relationship and how one resolves such issues.

P xx

Lea said...

No one can be fully on 100% of the time. There are ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Sometimes it can be difficult for me to remember that just because we're having a down moment, or a recharge moment, doesn't mean that everything is thrown out the window. It's just pressing pause for the moment!

Fondles said...

When daddy is extremely stressed out by something (usually work) - and it doesn't happen often - i can definitely tell, and i'll ask, or he lets me know... He can be uncertain, or hesitant, or just not in planner/decision-maker mode. But i don't think it makes our doms "weak". It just means as subs/ littles we have an opportunity to help our daddies/ doms by supporting them / being quiet (and not acting up especially during these times) and letting them know we know things are a little bit not-so-great at the moment. But we're ok to just wait it out. It's important that Daddies / doms let their subs/ littles know what we can do to help them too!

Pygar said...

Thank you Lea and Fondles.

Thank you both for sharing your own experiences of this and your reactions to it. It is interesting to hear of your responses.

It is perhaps important for Dom’s to do as Fondles suggests and let their subs know what they can do to help.

P xx