Thursday 25 January 2018

The role of humiliation in BDSM

The discussion in the last post focussed on Doms using humiliation as a technique and its appropriateness. This was particularly in response to a reader who had asked why Doms seemed to slip into this approach even after the pre-play relationship had been polite and mutually respectful.

I was reminded of an online relationship I had some years ago with a submissive on the other side of the world. Ours was a polite and respectful relationship - an online friendship that turned into an online BDSM relationship. She made it clear at the start that she was not into being demeaned and gave as an example that she did not want to be called a 'slut'. I am not sure now how the line was crossed but it was not many weeks before she revelled in being a called a slut! So things can change. Although the word was not really being used as humiliation - but more as a celebration!

I have noticed though that in the seven or eight years of this blog the post that has been by far the most read is one on Humiliation. You can read it here.

I think it is still an interesting read and has seventeen comments which include some interesting perspectives from submissive who are both into humiliation or not as well as the perspectives of a couple of Doms.

I wonder why that post is so popular and the most regularly sought? On a weekly basis, of the older posts it tends to be at the top of the most viewed.

I wonder if readers have any thoughts on why the subject is so sought out.

You may also have thoughts on my final sentence in the post,
"Is submission itself a humiliation?"

1 comment:

Pygar said...

Publishing this has led to a very interesting comment from northierthanthou on the original post. You can read his comment in full here.

In it he writes, "I can definitely understand the interest in seeing someone at the extreme end of vulnerability, but that seems different to me from seeing them feel badly about themselves." It made me ponder on the aspect of "making someone feel badly about themselves." That seemed to be getting close to emotional sadism that I have discussed elsewhere in this blog. (Most recently here.)

There the topic was discussed in the comments at some length. Readers may like to revisit it.

Northierthanthou went on to ask, "Is the submissive individual actually humiliated or are they still strong and proud after all?" If they are still "strong and proud" then I think everything may be going well.

P